More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow Book Lovers! It’s time for some more crappy covers. I hope you guys are ready to cringe and laugh! Now, let’s begin!

  • Griddle Creek: Fool’s Gold (Book 2) by M. Malenga Released: October 12th, 2017 Genres: Children’s Humor, Comic Book Pages: 32 Quick Summary: A typical museum heist story with quirky humor. 

I know this is supposed to be a kid’s book, but this art is completely unacceptable! It  seems like the artist just searched on Google Images for a picture of a diamond, and placed it on a black and grey background. If you are going to create a comic book, at least make the front cover appealing.

griddle

 

  • Facemate by Steven M. Greenberg Released: July 10th, 2019 Genre: Fiction Quick Summary: An Autistic boy discovers a futuristic dating site, and acquires unimaginable power. 386 pages 

What we have here is missed potential. The plot of this book seems really neat, and is definitely a unique concept. Unfortunately, the front cover makes it fall flat on its face. What we have is 4 “people” that are 3D nightmares. The graphics are extremely unsettling, and seem to delve into the “Uncanny Valley”.

face mate.jpg

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More Crazy Urban Dictionary Entries

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow language enthusiasts! It’s time for some more ridiculous entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Folliculaphilia: A woman only attracted to men with mustaches.
  • Hallway Hobo: (College term) Refers to students who lay around in the hallways before class.
  • Clusterfuck: A huge problem or situation.
  • Feet: A device used for finding legos in the dark.
  • Milk Toast: A spineless person.
  • VPL: Visible Penis Line
  • Bool: To chill.

More Awesome TV Tropes

Hello fellow Pop Culture Enthusiasts! It’s time for another TV Tropes post! I hope you guys are ready for some awesome pop culture tidbits. Now, let’s begin!

  • Useless Useful Spell: A very common trope in RPGS. It deals with a spell that has a seemingly powerful effect, like death, petrify, or sleep. Unfortunately, the enemy, you are going to use it on is either immune to it, can be dealt with easier by a normal attack, or is very situational in effect. Some examples include; Death from the Final Fantasy series. As it says on the tin, this spell has a chance (albeit low), to instantly kill an enemy. Unfortunately, almost all bosses are immune to this, however, this usually works wonders on normal monsters. Next, there’s Syphon from the Epic Battle Fantasy series. This spell nullifies an enemies Magical Attacks for a certain period of time, causing it to rely on physical attacks instead. This can be a detriment, however, if the opponent has very strong physical power. On the other hand, this is one of the most useful spells against Monoliths, some of the series’ most powerful Magic Attackers. It renders them completely useless until it wears off. Lastly, we have the Stopspell from Dragon Quest II. It stops spells for a certain period of time, and even the final boss is vulnerable to it.

syphon Syphon from Epic Battle Fantasy.

 

  • Lotus-Eater Machine: A downright disturbing trope that’s used in many Horror media today. A character will wake up in an amazing place where all their dreams come true. Unfortunately, this is all an illusion caused by a machine that is being controlled by the villain. If left in the machine for too long, a person’s mind will rot, and they’ll be unable to differentiate between real life and fiction. Some examples include; The world of Link’s Awakening. (Spoilers ahead!) It turns out to be the Windfish’s dream, and when Link wakes up, it’ll be completely destroyed. Next, there’s the episode of Rick and MortyM. Night Shaym-Aliens! In the episode, the main characters get stuck in a simulation, with only the brainless Jerry believing that it’s real life. Lastly, we have the song Frozen by Celldweller. This hauntingly awesome song tells the story of a man captivated by the visuals of a gorgeous seductress. Despite it all being in his head, he refuses to wake up.

m night.jpg

More Cool TV Tropes

Hello fellow Pop Culture Enthusiasts! It’s time for another TV Tropes post. I hope you guys are ready for some awesome trivia. Now, let’s begin!

  • Evil Genius: One of the most popular tropes ever created. It deals with a malicious person with a very high intellect. They can be anyone, ranging from scientists, to lowly crooks. Some examples include; Johan Liebert from the Anime/Manga Monster. He’s extremely smart, and is also a highly dangerous serial killer. Next, we have The Riddler from the Batman Series. He wears a very extravagant outfit and loves to trick Bruce Wayne. Lastly, we have the German terrorist from Die Hard, Hans Gruber. He’s the big cheese that developed the plan to take over Nakatomi Tower.

hans (Hans Gruber played by the late and great Alan Rickman)

 

  • Nutritional Nightmare: A trope that’s used in made comedies. It deals with a food that’s so unhealthy, that death could occur upon consumption. Some examples include; Deep fried butter, Double Dew from South Park (It’s Mountain Dew with 2X the caffeine), and when Homer forces Bart to add butter to his bacon.

double dew

More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s time for another humorous art post. Today, we will be looking at some more bad covers. Now, let’s take a dive into the bizarre world of  hilarious cringe.

  • Angela’s Arm by Roland Allnach Release Date: October 30th, 2018 Genres: Horror and Suspense 204 Pages Small Summary: A tale about a girl with a serpent for an arm.

Ok, I actually kind of love this cover because it reminds me of one of my favorite Anime. Unfortunately, it isn’t perfect, and I can see a lot of room for improvement. First of all, the hand has six fingers, which means that the owner isn’t human. Second, the book’s title is written in the standard “blood red” text to emphasize that it’s scary and edgy.  Lastly, the background looks photoshopped.

angela

 

  • Civil War II: The Battle for the Future of America by E. Robert Gurr Release Date: May 3rd, 2019 295 Pages Genres: Political Thriller and Suspense Short Summary: A war pits a teacher and a hacker against each other.

This cover is the epitome of boring and wasted potential. It’s just text on a white background. It tells nothing of what happens in the book, and looks like it was pieced together in about five minutes. Also, we gotta be edgy, so there’s more of that laughable “blood red” text.

gurr

More Fascinating TV Tropes

Hello fellow Pop Culture Enthusiasts! It’s time for some more tropes. I hope you guys are ready for some awesome trivia. Now, let’s begin!

  • Crazy Homeless People: An extremely common trope in almost all forms of media. It occurs when characters meet a paranoid and insane vagrants. They’re usually quite harmless, but some may be drug addicts, and other unsavory folk. Some examples include: The entire cast of Arakawa Under the Bridge, Many of the enemies in the Condemned series are violent, Meth-addicted hobos, Finally, we have the nameless bum from Beavis and Butt-Head.

arakawa The crazy cast of Arakawa Under the Bridge.

 

  • Fireball Eyeballs: An extremely popular trope that’s used in many Anime. A character’s eyes will flame up, and this can mean a variety of things. It can symbolize, determination, rage, overreacting, or excitement. Some examples include: Rock Lee from Naruto whenever he gets excited, Mama from Cooking Mama gets this way whenever you fail a task, lastly, we have Ron Burgundy from Anchorman when someone insults his hair.

rock lee.jpgRock Lee

Asher’s Cult Film Watchlist Part 2

Hello fellow Cult Film Fans! It’s time for another film-based post! A couple of months ago, I discussed some Cult Films that I would like to see. I had a ton of fun doing that post, so I decided to make a second part to it. I’d love to hear some suggestions from you guys, so be sure to leave some in the comments’ section below. Now, let’s begin!

  • The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Release Date: August 10th 1984 Rated: PG Runtime: 1h 43 min Genres: Comedy, Adventure, Romance Directed by: W.D. Richter Written by: Earl Mac Rauch Produced by: Sidney Beckerman Starring: John Lithgow, Peter Weller, Christopher Lloyd, Ellen Barkin, and Jeff Goldblum  

Short Summary: This film, aside from its incredibly long name, is a pure 80’s Sci-Fi satire. The movies tells the story of Buckaroo Banzai (Peter Weller), a mad scientist/Neurosurgeon/Rock Star and his equally unique teammates. When an alien race from the 8th Dimension threatens to conquer Earth, Banzai and his friends must suit up for battle in order to save the world from total destruction. The script is chalk full of hilarious dialogue and unpredictability. This alone makes this film right up my alley. Also, it has an all star cast, and it’s always enjoyable to see Goldblum chew the scenery. I will definitely seek this movie out if I can find it. 

buckaroo.jpg

 

  • Pan’s Labyrinth Release Date: January 19th, 2007 (In USA) (2006) internationally Rated: R for language and graphic violence. Genres: War, Drama, Fantasy Directed/Written by: Guillermo del Toro  Starring: Sergi Lopez, Ivana Baquero, Maribel Verdu, and Doug Jones Runtime: 1h 58 min Language: Spanish  

Short Summary: Pan’s Labyrinth is a terrifying and beautiful film by one of the godfathers of Horror, Guillermo del Toro. The film takes place in Spain during World War II and tells the story of Ophelia (Baquero), a young girl who lives in the midst of the battle with her pregnant Mother and ruthless Stepfather. Ophelia loves fairy tales, and runs into a fairy, and this is where her adventure begins. The creatures believe her to be a princess, and have information about her estranged Father. She’s asked to complete three horrific tasks, and if she even fails one, she’ll never see her Father again. This film immediately intrigued me upon seeing some of the grotesquely beautiful characters. I have yet to watch a del Toro film, and I believe that this one might be my gateway drug into his incredibly unique stories. Expect a HUGE review after I see this film.

pan's .jpg