More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s time for another humorous art post. Today, we will be looking at some more bad covers. Now, let’s take a dive into the bizarre world of  hilarious cringe.

• Angela’s Arm by Roland Allnach Release Date: October 30th, 2018 Genres: Horror and Suspense 204 Pages Small Summary: A tale about a girl with a serpent for an arm.

Ok, I actually kind of love this cover because it reminds me of one of my favorite Anime. Unfortunately, it isn’t perfect, and I can see a lot of room for improvement. First of all, the hand has six fingers, which means that the owner isn’t human. Second, the book’s title is written in the standard “blood red” text to emphasize that it’s scary and edgy.  Lastly, the background looks photoshopped.

 

• Civil War II: The Battle for the Future of America by E. Robert Gurr Release Date: May 3rd, 2019 295 Pages Genres: Political Thriller and Suspense Short Summary: A war pits a teacher and a hacker against each other.

This cover is the epitome of boring and wasted potential. It’s just text on a white background. It tells nothing of what happens in the book, and looks like it was pieced together in about five minutes. Also, we gotta be edgy, so there’s more of that laughable “blood red” text.

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Crazy Book Covers (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

• Inner Sanctum: Rise (The Inner Sanctum Series Book 2) by Abraham M. Luckey Genre: Christian Fiction Release Date: September 30th, 2018 322 Pages 

This is a Christian book about two characters named Pax and Sori. They apparently have to defeat a great evil and the god of the dead. The cover is extremely pathetic in nature, and looks like it was completed in about 30 minutes. It’s a picture of a “space mask” that could have possibly been cut out of a picture book.

 

• The Super Olympian: Bloodhound (Shapechanger Tales) by Laer Carroll Release Date: May 18th, 2017 Genre: Science Fiction  250 Pages

This is a book about an asskicking crimefighter that happens to be an Olympian. The cover is “interesting” to say the least, and will catch you of guard. It’s a picture of a white-haired heroine in a white gi and black belt. She’s also carrying two firearms, and there’s a flying police car for some reason. I really don’t know what else to say on this cover, except that it’s strange, really freaking strange!

The Day Of Halloween! Special Mythology Post!

Hello boys and ghouls, and Happy Halloween! I hope you guys are having a frightening day! As per usual during this time, I will be discussing a very creepy topic. Today’s post will be on disturbing and creepy mythical creatures. Now, let’s begin this ghoulish post!

• Nuckelavee: The Nuckelavee is a fearsome creature from Orcadian mythology. It’s depicted as a being with the body of a horse and the torso and head of a man. It has one crimson eye, and a large protruding mouth, similar to that of a pig’s. The beast is very aggressive, and will attack humans on sight. It’s also said that his breath is poisonous, and will cause decay and disease. The only way to stop this monster, is to find a place with water, as this creature is unable to wade through it.

• Inkanyamba: The Inkanyamba is a dangerous sea creature of South African folklore. It’s usually depicted as a huge serpent with a horse’s head. It has a terrible temper, and is known for causing seasonal storms.

Halloween Week! Creepy Paintings

Hello guys and ghouls! Welcome to the holiday special! Every day this week, I will be posting a new creepy topic. Now, let’s start this ghoulish week with some creepy paintings!

• Anatomical Pieces by Theodore Gericault 1819 Oil on canvas 

This is a very visceral work by “French Realist”, Gericault. It’s a “Still-Life piece which depicts many human body parts. The heavily detailed and realistic-looking parts give the viewer a sense of dread. However, I find this piece to be morbidly gorgeous in its own way. The severed arm has its bones intact, and the meticulous preservation of them makes it a true sight to behold.

• The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch 1480-1505 Oil on 3 oak panels

This incredible piece was made over the course of 20 years, and the insane detail definitely shows Bosch’s talents. The work is supposed to depict life’s greatest pleasures including; sex, lust, wrath, sin, and leisure. The first panel portrays 3 fleshy, nude figures in a beautiful green garden with a phallic, pink fountain. The second panel portrays more nude figures and some absolutely gorgeous flora and fauna. Some of the people are having sex, and floating across a giant river in apple-shaped boats. Then, we get to the third panel, and them mood changes dramatically! I believe it to be Bosch’s depiction of Hell, due to the many demonic creatures, and tortured human souls. Some figures are bound by chains, and others are actually used as instruments! I have always loved this painting, and would love to hear what you guys think of it in the comments’ section below.

Ridiculous Book Covers (Wednesdays)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy book covers. Now, let’s begin!

• The Goblin and a Lucky Adventure (Tales from the Forest of the Hooting Owl) by Juliet Boyd Release Date: August 2nd, 2018 30 Pages Genres: Short Story, Kids 

This is a recent book that’s about a goblin that goes on a journey. Unfortunately, the cover is absolute rubbish! It actually looks like somebody vomited the contents of a paint can onto the paper. I’m a big fan of abstract art, but this is so half-assed, it makes me angry. Put more effort into your covers, it’s not that hard!

 

• Gubble Bubble Kingdom by Denise McCabe and Illustrated by Da’an Yahya Release Date: February 21st, 2015 36 Pages Genre: Picture Book

I don’t really need to explain the synopsis of this do I? It apparently is a children’s picture book that was well received on Amazon. The cover is “interesting” to say the least, and could easily give people nightmares. The cover is like a giant LSD trip with an overly happy jester and two kids trapped in a bubble. The jester appears to be pouring a douche filled with water into a green field. I don’t like this cover because it edges way too close to the uncanny valley.

Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries

NSFW Content Ahead!!

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s time for us to dive into the crazy world of Pokemon Clover. I hope you guys are ready for some insane entries. Now, let’s begin!

• Anonymouse (The Atheist Pokemon) #208 Dark/Electric Type Ability: Infiltrator (Passes through barriers) Gender Ratio: 75% Male to 25% Female Ht: 1’04” Wt: 8.6 lbs Appearance: A black and white mouse with a hat, red cape, and V mask. Base Stats: HP: 66, Attack: 76 , Defense: 66, Sp. Atk: 76, Sp. Def: 66, Speed: 86 Stat Total: 436 (OK) Immune to Psychic and weak to Fighting, Ground, Bug, and Fairy.

Entry: Anonymouse are known to be euphoric, having being enlightened by their own intelligence. 

 

• Tripsius (The Felicity Pokemon) #111 Electric/Psychic Type Abilities: Skill Link (Multi-hit moves hit five times) or Analytic (Moving last boosts power) Gender Ratio: Genderless Appearance: A red and yellow slot machine with three eyes and two large arms. Evolves from Dubus at Level 33 Ht: 4’11” Wt: 244.7 lbs  Base Stats: HP: 88, Attack: 89, Defense:  99, Sp.Atk: 88, Sp.Def: 80, Speed: 111 Stat Total: 555 (The highest stats of all non-legendary Electric-type Pokemon) Immune to none and Weak to Ground, Bug, Ghost, and Dark.

Entry: Tripsius are a very rare sight. They are recognized by Singlets and Dubus colonies as ultimate authority.

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!!!!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

• Wheygle (The Jerk Pokemon) #274 Fighting and Flying type Name Origin: Whey+Eagle  Abilities: Big Pecks (Prevents defense from being lowered) or No Guard (Moves will hit regardless of accuracy) Ht: 4’11” Wt: 111.3 lbs Evolves from Flipbird at Level 27 Gender Ratio: 75% male: 25% female Stats: HP: 82, Attack: 125, Defense: 77, Sp. Atk: 45, Sp. Def: 65, Speed: 95 Stat Total: 487 (Mainly a physical attacker) Appearance: A seagull with a pair of inflatable arms. Weak to: Flying, Electric, Psychic, Ice, and Fairy. Immune to: Ground. The Pokemon is based off of the “Anchor Arms” episode of Spongebob Squarepants, “Musclebob Buffpants”.

 

Entry: Despite Wheygle being jerks, everyone seems to love them. (Its cry is “Anchor Arms”)!

 Warning!! If you have a fear of clowns, look away! 

• Traumobra (The It Pokemon) #301 Poison and Fairy type Name Origin: Trauma+Cobra and may also be based on “Coulrophobia”, the fear of clowns. Abilities: Prankster (Status Moves have priority) or Magic Bounce (Reflects Status Moves) Ht: 4’11” Wt: 19.8 lbs Gender Ratio: 50% male/ 50% female Evolves from Cirpent with high enough friendship. Stats: HP: 71, Attack: 71, Defense: 81, Sp. Atk: 91, Sp. Def: 71, Speed: 101 Base Stat Total: 486 (Very Fast and incredibly good typing) Appearance: A cobra-like monster with 4 clown heads and a red and white body. Immune to Dragon and weak to Ground, Steel, and Psychic.

Entry: Traumobra have three false heads, or at least semi-false, as it still uses the three mouths to devour its prey.