The Crappiest Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Wednesday)

“Art” found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means!  Yes, it’s time to cringe, as we look at some horrible cover art. Now, let the crapfest begin!

• Dudes With Attitude for the NES (1990) 

Dudes With Attitude was a piss poor action/adventure game for the NES. The object of the game is to use the “dudes” to collect colored gems and avoid the evil Gumsplats. Unfortunately the game had horrible controls and graphics. The cover doesn’t do anything to numb the pain, and is in fact, scary as hell! The art depicts 3 sentient balls surrounding a treasure chest. The leftmost figure is a blue female with black shades and a pucker mouth. The rightmost image is a yellow male with spiky hair, and a “shit eating” grin. The middlemost image is the fugliest of them all, and depicts a red male ball with an eyepatch, mustache, and demonic grin. This is completely unsettling, and causes the viewer to stay away from this abomination. (Come on, artists! You can do bettter than this!)

 

 

• Final Zone II for the Turbo Grafx 16 (1990)

Final Zone II is a wonderfully fun shooter that’s quite similar to Ikari Warriors. If you have watched the Happy Console Gamer, there are chances that you have heard of this game. Two covers were made, one for Japan, and one for North America. The Japanese one is very cool, and portrays the main characters in an Anime style. The North American cover, other the other hand, is a giant pile of vomit! The artist must have been hitting the crack pipe pretty hard when he birthed this monstrosity! The character’s proportions are completely askew, and the faces look like grotesque bobble heads. The robot suits are morbidly obese, and the weapons look like construction equipment! Tell me what you think of this shitshow in the comments’ section below.

 

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Nature Is Awesome! (Every Other Tuesday)

All animals and other organisms found in various books and websites

Hello fellow outdoor enthusiasts! It’s Tuesday and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more amazing organisms. Now, let’s start exploring!

• Sundew (Drosera) Diet: Carnivorous  Size: Up to 100cm Habitat: Every Continent besides Antarctic. Every species is divided into several habitats based on climate.

The Sundew is a strange, carnivorous plant that’s nearly found world wide. It has green leaves and many reddish tentacles. These tentacles are covered in a sticky digestive enzymes, which are used to attract prey. The sweet smelling secretion attracts insects, and when they get too close, it attacks! The tentacle trap the poor bug, and begin to digest its body. After the bug’s demise, its nutrients will be absorbed through the leaves to the other parts of the plant. The Sundew also has many medicinal purposes such as being used in teas to prevent whooping cough and asthma attacks. 

 

 

• Corpse Flower (Rafflesia arnoldii) Size: 3 ft (The largest was 3.4 ft) Diet: Parasitic Habitat: The Rainforests of Sumatra Status: Becoming Endangered

The Rafflesia has the Guinness World Record for being the largest individual flower on Earth. It’s a parasitic organism that’s pollinated by Corpse Flies. It’s a bright red flower with many large, spotted leaves. It’s unisexual, and male and female flowers must be close by for successful pollination.  It can weigh up to a mighty 24 lbs, and is continuously dying out due to increased human activity. This disturbs the bud production of the plant.  The nickname, “Corpse Flower”, comes from the plant’s stench, which is said to resemble rotten flesh. It’s truly a fascinating plant that we must try to protect before they all become extinct.   

Nature Is Awesome! (Every Other Tuesday)

Animals and plants found on various websites and books

Hello fellow nature lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at the amazing organisms found in nature. Now, let’s start exploring!

• Manatee (Sirenia) Size: Up to 8.4 feet  Diet: Herbivore Habitat: Coastal areas of the Caribbean Sea and the Gulf of Mexico 

The Manatee is an adorable creature of the sea. It’s also one of the biggest Herbivores, weighing up to 1,300 lbs. They have a very peaceful disposition, and are quite fascinated by humans. They are fascinating  creatures with widely spaced eyes, and an incredibly prehensile upper lip. They have extremely high intellect, and can perform tasks like dolphins. The Manatee is also known as the “Sea Cow”.

 Just look at that quite, squishy face!

 

• Blister Bush (Notobubon galbanum) Size: Up to 2.5 metres Habitat: Table Mountain in South Africa 

The Blister Bush is a dangerous plant that’s native to South Africa. It’s in the same family as carrots, but eating them is a huge no no! The bush has leaves, which resemble parsley, and it’s very green in color. The bush carries a corrosive blend of chemicals which include; xanthotoxin, bergapten, and psoralen. These chemicals cause blistering within days of human contact. They explode with sunlight exposure, and if 5% or more of the body is covered, serious scarring will occur. It can be treated by applying the strongest SPF sunscreen to the irritated area. Despite its many dangers, the bush actually has powerful medicinal purposes. It’s used by people in rural Africa as a cure for kidney stones. It also can be used to prevent miscarriages. 

Strange Animals And Plants (Every Other Tuesday)

Info on plants and animals found on various websites and books

Hello fellow nature lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more fascinating creatures. Now, let’s start exploring!

• Betel Palm (Areca catechu) Size: Up to 66ft Habitat: Asia and Africa

The Betel Palm is a unique palm tree that bares orange and scarlet fruit called betel nuts. They are usually wrapped around betel leaves to create a dish called Paan. The nuts can be chewed, and are said to taste like pepper. The nut produces a small stimulant, which is similar to drinking a cup of coffee. Chewing the nut is incredibly addictive, and can be used as a mouthwash. Unfortunately, scientists have linked frequent usage of the nut to oral cancers and some gastrointestinal problems. It also stains the lips red, and produces an abundance of red saliva.

• Liopleurodon When It Lived: 160 Million Years Ago Carnivore Size: Up to 33ft Habitat: Water 

The liopleurodon was a gigantic species of plesiosaur that lived in the middle of the Jurassic period. It had four paddle-like limbs, and the skull the size of a 6 foot man. It had a protruded snout with rows of ultra sharp teeth. The dinosaur was an aggressive hunter, and could detect sense like a shark. Unfortunately, its massive body would collapse if it stayed out of water.

  

 

More Hilariously Bad Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Covers found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to laugh and cringe at some more terrible game covers. Now, let’s begin! Be warned! Strong Profanity Ahead!

• Megaman (1987): The original Megaman, the game that got me into this incredible franchise. I absolutely adore this game in nearly every way. The gameplay is fluid the weapons are super creative, and the music is mind blowing. Everything could have been great, if the American cover artist didn’t create a steaming pile of dog shit! I’m gonna be real with you guys for a second, this cover infuriates me! The love and passion that went into making one of the most iconic video game characters, is nowhere to be found on the cover. The Japanese cover is great, and definitely portrays the overall fun of the game. The art looks like it was vomited up by a drunken Science Fiction writer! There’s blurry buildings, and a random explosion in the background. Then we get to the “Blue Bomber” himself. Oh god! He’s wearing a nauseating blue and yellow jumpsuit that appears to be inflated. He has crossed brown eyes and a freaking unibrow! Then the viewers get a final punch in the face when the see his weapon. Instead of the iconic Mega Buster, he’s carrying a goddamn gun! I hope people can look past this artistic pile of puke, and adore this amazing game for what it is.

       Oh This Hurts My Eyes!

• Bust-A-Move Millennium for the Game Boy Color: Good old Bust-A Move! This is an iconic bubble popping game at arcades that star the characters of Bubble Bobble. The series is known of have incredibly bizarre cover art, ranging from babies blowing bubbles, to sadistic Ludovico-esque torture devices. This cover, in particular, looks like it was made in 30 minutes! Instead of the cute and snuggly bubble-popping dragons, we are subjected to the freak baby of Bowser and Reptile! He has one giant eye and a strangely placed fang. If the artist was going for a cute character, they failed miserably!

  

Asher’s Book Reviews (One Every Month)

Quotes and information from The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s time to start a new post! Each month, I will be reviewing a different book. I will give a detailed summary of the book, as well as some spoilers. Now, grab your favorite novel, and let’s begin!

The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room The Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made by Greg Sestero & Tom Bissell Genre: Non-Fiction 288 pgs.

The Disaster Artist is a biography of Greg Sestero, an actor who starred in one of the biggest messterpieces of all time. The book starts with Greg as a kid, and then gradually moves throughout his life. For those not in the know, The Room is considered by many to be the “Citizen Kane of bad movies”. The film was created by the extremely bizarre Tommy Wiseau. Greg meets Tommy in Jean Shelton’s acting class, where he horribly butchers Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 116”. Greg immediately wants to do a scene with him, and the rest is history! We learn of his strange mannerisms early within the book. He would always order a glass of hot water at every restaurant, and seems to have a unhinged grasp on English. His origin and accent remain a mystery even today, as well as his seemingly endless supply of money. Greg describes him as “short and muscular with a lumpy, white, face, a snow -shovel jaw, and impossibly black hair”. The book is a treat to read, because you never know what kind of crazy ideas emerge from Tommy’s head. It’s also quite fascinating to learn about Greg’s personal life, and time as an actor in The Room. There are many incredibly funny scenes in the book, and I don’t want to spoil all of them. My personal favorite is Tommy’s first day of filming. Greg goes to pick him up, and he ends up being 5 hours late to his first production day. His excuse? He had to re-dye his hair! The movie cost Tommy $6 Million, and he purchased all of his equipment instead of renting it! The final product started as a complete flop, but due to Tommy’s shady guerrilla marketing, it became a massive cult hit. I learned about it from the Nostalgia Critic’s review, and then I kept going deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. Having seen it, I can definitely see why this move is so well loved by fans. The film is still shown every month at the Landmark Theatre in LA. People throw plastic spoons at the screen and quote lines from the film. In conclusion, The Disaster Artist is a giant joyride with hilarious twists and turns around every corner. I give the book a 5 out of 5. I highly recommend the book, and the audiobook is even better, with Greg’s amazing Tommy impression. I’m also really looking forward to James Franco’s film version of The Disaster Artist, so be sure to look out for a review in December!

 

Below is the link to the trailer for the Disaster Artist

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiv2fmAwO7VAhUnjFQKHezxB5IQyCkIKjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4qab3TMg42k&usg=AFQjCNGSnLUQFD7D0mnF7NIcjmROdJFGpg

Strange Animals From Around The World (Every Other Tuesday)

Info about animals found on various websites

Hello fellow animal lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more awesome animals. Now, let’s begin!

• Honeypot Ant (Myrmecocystis) Size: Up to 15 mm Habitat: Arid to semiarid places like Mexico and Australia

The Honeypot ant is a strange type of worker ant with an extremely swelled abdomen. Their diet mainly consists of honey, and they can drain the abdomen to feed their entire colony. The ants are considered to be a delicacy in parts of Australia.

 

• Antlion (Euroleon nostras) Size: Up to 30 mm Habitat: Europe Diet: Ants and small insects

The Antlion is a very unique insect that has an incredibly fascinating way to capture prey. The fully developed adult has large wings and a thin body. The larvae, on the other hand, has large jaws and a broader abdomen. They build sand traps that capture prey, and will suck out the body fluids.