More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow Book Lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy book covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • The Duo Time Machine: The Verb by Mery Volmar Bezos Released on November  11th, 2018 Genre: Unknown Synopsis: Some plot with multiple branches of science that’s very hard to explain. 39 Pages 

This cover looks live somebody vomited an entire paint palate onto a sheet of paper. This is why you never mix drugs with designing a cover, you get shit like this! I’m a huge fan of Abstract Art, but this cover looks so pathetically put together, that it makes me rage.

the duo

 

  • The Dragon’s Apprentice by Linda McNabb Released: April 11th, 2012 Genres: Science Fiction and Fantasy 174 Pages Synopsis: Toby goes on an adventure to save his dragon from the villainous Prince Blaise. 

Here we have another instance of a nearly amazing cover ruined by something really stupid. We have an lavish looking palace with brick walls and a nice staircase. Then, we get to the dragon, and this is when it goes downhill. The dragon looks like a plastic toy, and its expression is incredibly dopey.

the dragon's apprentice

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More Obscure Comic Book Characters (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow Comic Book Fans! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more obscure characters. Now, let’s begin!

  • Schizoid Man Real Name: Chip Martin Status: Supervillain First Appeared: Spectacular Spider-Man #36 (November 1st, 1979) Creator: Marvel Powers/Abilities: Mental control and creation of objects and creatures, Telekinesis

Chip discovered his powers at a young age, and unfortunately developed a second personality as well. This other persona was a benevolent force that drove the kid nearly into insanity. His powers were suppressed through medical treatment, and didn’t emerge again until a stressful incident in college. This time, his evil persona took over, and he started to rampage through the campus. He was eventually severely beaten by an unstable Spider-Man. 

schiz

 

  • Mastermind II Real Name: Martinique Jason Status: Supervillain First Appeared: Wolverine/Gambit: Victims #2 (October 1st, 1995) Creator: Marvel Powers/Abilities: Psionic ability to cast illusions, causing people to hear, see, smell, touch, and taste things that do not actually exist.

Martinique is the daughter of the original Mastermind, and inherited his powers at birth. She was comatose for a long period of time, while other villains used her powers to control others. When she finally woke up, she joined the Sisterhood of Evil Mutants, and hasn’t been heard from since. 

dhfosef

More Of My Favorite Cards From Rastakhan’s Rumble

So, the new Hearthstone expansion comes out tomorrow, and all of the cards have been revealed. I think you guys know what needs to happen. Last week, I posted some of my favorite cards of the new upcoming expansion. This post is a continuation of that one, so I hope you will enjoy it. Now, let’s begin!

  • Blast Wave Type: Spell Rarity: Epic Class: Mage Cost: 5 Mana Appearance: A troll casting fire in all directions.  Effect: Deal 2 damage to all minions. Overkill: Add a random mage spell to your hand.

This card has insane synergy with Quest Mage Decks, making it almost Meta-Defining. Since it hits all minions, you’re guaranteed to get at least one or two cards to your hand, and that could turn the game in your favor. Also, if you’re really lucky, you could the complete the Mage Quest easily on turn 6. 

blast wave

 

  • Void Contract (Aka The Thanos Card) Type: Spell Rarity: Epic Cost: 8 Mana Class: Warlock Appearance: A warlock sending a stream of magic at a demonic being. Effect: Destroy half of each player’s deck.

This is one of the most creatively chaotic cards ever made. Destroying half of each player’s deck can be absolutely devastating, and may make or break someone’s strategy. I could definitely see this card being played in a Warlock Mecha’thun deck.

thanos

 

  • Gral, the Shark Type: Minion/Beast/ Battlecry/Deathrattle Rarity: Legendary Class: Rogue Stats: 2 Attack 2 Health Mana Cost: 5 Appearance: A fucking awesome looking shark with ultra sharp teeth. Effect: Battlecry: Eat a minion from your deck and gain its stats. Deathrattle: Add it to your hand. 

I freaking love this card’s artwork! This is probably the one card that I’m most looking forward to playing. Its stats are subpar, but its effect is amazing. Eating a minion is something that no other card has ever been able to do, and the added Deathrattle effect is amazing. If the shark manages to eat something huge, it becomes a monster on the field that’s very hard to take out. I hope more “eat” cards are made in the future.

gral

My Most Hated Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards

Hello fellow Duelists! It’s time for a very special Yu-Gi-Oh post! I’ve been playing the card game for many years now, and some cards make me infuriated. Now, prepare to rage, as we take a look at some truly vein-popping cards!

  • Sphere Kuriboh (aka Sphere Ebola) Type: Fiend/Effect Attribute: Dark 1 Star  ATK/ 300 DEF/ 200 Appearance: A shiny, spherical Kuriboh. Effect: When an opponent’s monster declares an attack: You can send this card in your hand to the GY; change the attacking monster to Defense Position. When you Ritual Summon a monster, you can banish this card from the GY as one of the monsters required for the Ritual Summon.

This $!@#!*#!*#!#^& card is the bane of my existence in Duel Links.  Everybody uses it, and its effect is one of the most annoying things to deal with. The ability to switch any attack monster into Defense Mode completely screws up your plan to end the duel quickly. It’s added Ritual effect is just a bonus on an already incredibly rage-inducing monster.

sphere !@!#$

  • Denko Sekka Type: Thunder/Effect Attribute: Light ATK/ 1700 DEF/ 1000 Appearance: A beautiful, blue haired warrior. Effect: Cannot be Special Summoned. While you control no Set Spells/Traps, neither player can Set Spells/Traps nor activate Spell/Trap Cards that are Set on the field.

I have a love/hate relationship with this card. For starters, her effect is extremely potent, and can change the tide of the duel instantly. Unfortunately, if your opponent uses her, she becomes one of the most annoying cards in the game, being only able to be destroyed by monsters.

denko

Asher’s Pub (Thursdays)

Hello fellow Cicerones! It’s Thursday, and my Pub is open once again! I hope you guys are ready for some awesome drinks. Now, let me fix you up something special!

  • Egghead Cocktail

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 oz vodka
  • 4 oz orange juice
  • 1 egg

Directions: Add ingredients with 4 ice cubes to blender. Blend well, pour into glass with ice.

egg

 

  • Dark Lord Cocktail

Ingredients

  • 1 oz vodka
  • 1 oz Black Haus® blackberry schnapps 
  • 1/2 oz cranberry juice

Directions: Mix all ingredients with ice. Strain and serve in a cocktail glass. Garnish with a black olive.

dark lord

 

 

New Hearthstone Expansion My Favorite New Cards

Hello fellow Tavern Dwellers! It’s time for a new Hearthstone post! As many of you probably know, the newest expansion, Rastakhan’s Rumble, comes out in a week. I have decided, as like before, to talk about some of my favorite new cards of the upcoming expansion. This expansion also has a brand new keyword called Overkill. Overkill occurs when you do damage to a minion that exceeds its health. There’s still some new cards yet to come out, and I will only be going over the ones that have been released. Expect a through review when I play around with the new cards. Now, let’s begin!

  • Immortal Prelate Mana Cost: 2 Class: Paladin Deathrattle Rarity: Epic Stats: 1 Attack and 3 health Effect: Deathrattle: Shuffle this into your deck. It keeps any enchantments.

This card is essentially Kingsbane as a minion. Kingsbane was a Rogue Legendary weapon that has this card’s effect. However, being a Paladin class card opens up a lot of options. The Paladin class has many fantastic spells that drastically increase a minion’s stats making this specific card extremely effective. I’m going to definitely make a deck surrounding this card. I really hope it sees play, because the effect seems very strong.

immortal

 

  • Hir’eek the Bat Mana Cost: 8 Type: Beast/Battlecry Class: Warlock 1 Attack and 1 Health Rarity: Legendary Effect: Battlecry: Fill your board with copies of this minion. 

This card reminds me a lot of the worm card from the Boomsday expansion. The ability to swarm your field with minions is always a good thing. Plus, if you manage to boost its stats before it gets on the board, your opponent will have a very difficult time dealing with it.

hi'reel

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. I hope you guys are ready to be confused and astonished. Now, let’s begin!

  • Slugbud (The Buddy Pokemon) #372 Water/Poison Type Possible Abilities: Hydration (Heals status effects in the rain) or Sap Sipper (Absorbs Grass-Type moves and converts them into an Attack boost) Evolves into Slughug at Level 30 and Slugfugg at Level 48 Female Only Appearance: A cute fusion of Goomy and Mudkip Ht: 1’04” Wt: 13.2 lbs  Base Stats: HP: 55 Attack: 60 Defense: 65 Sp. Atk: 35 Sp. Def: 45 Speed: 20 Base Stat Total: 280 (Pretty decent for a first evolution) Weak to Electric, Ground, and Psychic

Entry: This Pokemon is your best buddy. It’ll stick by you through tough times to comfort you.

slug.png 

 

  • Uwotto (The Xeno Pokemon) #228 Psychic/Steel Type Possible Abilities: Compound Eyes (Increases accuracy of moves by 30%) or Intimidate (Lowers foe’s attack) Appearance: An awesome Xenomorph encased in pure metal. Gender Ratio 50/50 Evolves from Ayylamo holding a metal coat Base Stats: HP: 80 Attack: 110 Defense: 105 Sp.Atk: 90 Sp.Def: 100 Speed: 80 Base Stat Total: 565 (Great stats and has the greatest base stat total of all non-legendary Psychic Pokemon) Immune to Poison and Weak to Ground, Ghost, Fire, and Dark.

Entry: U fuckin wot m8 swear down on me grandmum I will wreck ye swear down.

uwoo