Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to cringe at some more horrible video game art. Now, let’s get started!
- Tommy Lasorda Baseball for the Sega Genesis 1988 Genre: Sports
This is a tricky Baseball game that was endorsed by the old manager of the Dodgers, Tommy Lasorda. I know that he’s trying to promote this game, but Jesus Christ, he’s horrifying! While Tommy in real life isn’t good looking, this cover is downright mocking! His face is fat and mushy, with disturbingly crossed eyes. It might be one of the earliest forms of nightmare fuel, and the artist should be ashamed of himself!
- Panic Restaurant for the NES 1992 Genre: Action Platformer
Panic Restaurant is a weird and wonderful platformer that stars a chef named Cookie. He fights against evil sentient food items and the evil chef, Ohdove. Once again, the video game cover fucks up everything! It depicts Cookie as a enraged chef with the face of a child molester. His head is disproportionate to the rest of his body, and frying pan is bigger than his noggin. There’s also a strange carrot in the background with blue eyeshadow and lipstick. Tell me what you think of this cover in the comments’ section below.
STRONG PROFANITY WARNING!!
Art found on various websites
Hello fellow gamers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to cringe profusely at some horrible video game cover art. Now, lets begin this adventure into the detritus of the video game world!
- Fester’s Quest for the NES (1989) Genre: Adventure/Run and Gun
If you have been watching the Angry Video Game Nerd for as long as I have, you have probably seen his review for this game. According to James Rolfe; “This game is ass”! It’s a run and gun adventure game that stars Uncle Fester from the Addam’s Family. Unfortunately, the cover doesn’t do anything to ease the pain! It depicts the titular Fester as a bald, Curly Howard-looking, buffoon with incredibly red lips. He almost gives off the vibe of a pedophile with the strange sneer. There’s also a single spider hanging down from his head. If I can give the artwork any praise, I’d say that the mansion in the distance actually looks pretty good. The piece all together just rubs me the wrong way, and I don’t know if the creator was aiming for this or not. Tell me what you think of this “masterpiece” in the comments’ section below.
- Bust-A-Move Arcade 2 Edition for the Playstation (1995) Genre: Puzzle
I have already discussed one of the crazy covers before in an earlier post, but this one is just Fucked Up! As I said before, Bust-A-Move is an incredibly addicting puzzle game starring the dragons Bub and Bob of Bubble Bobble fame. The game had very cute graphics and exhilarating gameplay. Then we get to the cover, and all I can say is, WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!!! We have an image that wouldn’t look out of place in a Clockwork Orange! The cover has various bubbles with screaming faces inside. Their eyes are pried open with toothpicks, and they appear to be in great distress. I especially “adore” the tagline; “SO ADDICTIVE…IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL”! It’s crazy, because this is a rated “E” game! I’m going to show the cover, but be warned, it’s really unsettling! Tell me what you think of it in the comments’ section below.
Covers found on various websites
Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to laugh and cringe at some more terrible game covers. Now, let’s begin! Be warned! Strong Profanity Ahead!
- Megaman (1987): The original Megaman, the game that got me into this incredible franchise. I absolutely adore this game in nearly every way. The gameplay is fluid the weapons are super creative, and the music is mind blowing. Everything could have been great, if the American cover artist didn’t create a steaming pile of dog shit! I’m gonna be real with you guys for a second, this cover infuriates me! The love and passion that went into making one of the most iconic video game characters, is nowhere to be found on the cover. The Japanese cover is great, and definitely portrays the overall fun of the game. The art looks like it was vomited up by a drunken Science Fiction writer! There’s blurry buildings, and a random explosion in the background. Then we get to the “Blue Bomber” himself. Oh god! He’s wearing a nauseating blue and yellow jumpsuit that appears to be inflated. He has crossed brown eyes and a freaking unibrow! Then the viewers get a final punch in the face when the see his weapon. Instead of the iconic Mega Buster, he’s carrying a goddamn gun! I hope people can look past this artistic pile of puke, and adore this amazing game for what it is.
Oh This Hurts My Eyes!
- Bust-A-Move Millennium for the Game Boy Color: Good old Bust-A Move! This is an iconic bubble popping game at arcades that star the characters of Bubble Bobble. The series is known of have incredibly bizarre cover art, ranging from babies blowing bubbles, to sadistic Ludovico-esque torture devices. This cover, in particular, looks like it was made in 30 minutes! Instead of the cute and snuggly bubble-popping dragons, we are subjected to the freak baby of Bowser and Reptile! He has one giant eye and a strangely placed fang. If the artist was going for a cute character, they failed miserably!
Characters found in various DC and Marvel encyclopedias and comicvine.gamespot.com
Hello fellow comic book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more bizarre characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!
- Arm-Fall-Off Boy Real Name: Floyd Belkin Status: “Hero” Creator: DC First Appeared: Secret Origins #46 (1989) Power: Limb Detachment
One of the most useless superheroes ever to grace comics, Floyd’s “power” is to remove his arms at will. He was denied membership to the Legion, and is considered to be one of DC’s most ridiculous creations. His seemingly worthless ability has caused the “hero” to be easily forgotten, and he only appeared in 5 issues.
- Condiment King Real Name: Mitchell Mayo (Yes really, Mayo!) Status: Villain Creator: DC First Appeared: Birds of Prey #37 (2002) Powers/Weapons: Various condiment gadgets, can cause anaphylactic shock, and cringe-worthy puns
Mayo is a ridiculous, yet highly popular villain from the DC universe. He easily lost to Batgirl, and was sent to Arkham Asylum. During his stay, Mayo became friends with Poison Ivy, and was taught about dangerous spices. Using this knowledge, he surprisingly caused three heroes to fall into anaphylactic shock. Mayo is also known for Mr. Freeze-like puns, and this has caused him to become a guilty pleasure for many comic book fans. I can only hope that he appears in the upcoming DC films.
Characters found in various DC and Marvel encyclopedias, and comicvine.gamespot.com
Hello fellow comic book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more strange characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!
- Cell Real Name: N/A First Appeared: Morlocks #1 (2002)(Marvel) Status: Member Of The Morlocks Powers: Single celled organism, highly stretchable body, digestive enzymes break down anything on contact, highly resistant to physical harm
Cell was a gang member who was shot by the police. Upon the impact, his mutation manifested, and he escaped into the sewers. He met up with the Chicago Morlocks, and joined them soon after. He unfortunately met his end with a sentinel.
- Odd Man Real Name: Clayton Stoner Status: Hero First Appeared: Cancelled Comic Cavalcade #2 (1978) (DC) Powers/Weapons: Weird gadgets, above- average combat skills
Clayton was a normal private eye until he decided to fight crime. He donned a ridiculous patchwork costume with a rubber mask and two different eyes. He used various gadgets to confuse his enemies. He has helped the Hero Hotline on many occasions.
Character info found in various DC and Marvel encyclopedias, comicvine.gamespot.com, and Jon Morris’ book, The League Of Regrettable Superheroes
Hello fellow comic book fans! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to look at the strange characters that appear in comic books. Now, grab your favorite comic, and prepare to laugh!
- The Blimp Real Name: Herman Cramer Status: Hero Creator: DC First Appeared: Showcase #62 1966 Power:Extremely Slow Flight
Herman was the son of a Flash parody named Captain Swift. Along with super speed, swift could also fly just as fast. Herman got the short end of the stick, and inherited his father’s flight without the speed that went along with it. Useless superpower in hand, The Blimp joined a strange team of equally pathetic heroes known as the Inferior Five. (I can fly! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
- Stilt-Man Real Name: Wilbur Day Status: Villain Creator: Marvel First Appeared: Daredevil #8 1965 Powers: Legs of armored costume can extend up to 60 feet in length; costume also contains a formidable array of built-in weaponry.
Wilbur was a lab assistant that stole hydraulic rams from his company. He used these parts to create an armored costume. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned, and Day became the laughing stock of the Marvel Universe. After many strokes of bad luck, Day met his end at the hands of The Punisher.
Information on characters found on comicvine.gamespot.com, various DC and Marvel Encyclopedias, and from Jon Morris’ Book, The League Of Regrettable Superheroes.
Hello fellow comic book fans! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to add more members to the roster of useless characters. Get ready to laugh and facepalm as we begin this ridiculous post.
- Color Kid Real Name: Ulu Vakk Gender: Male Status: Good Power: Can change the color of any object. Creator: DC First Appeared: Adventure Comics #342—-The Legionnaire Who Killed 1966
Color Kid is an alien from the planet Lupra who has one of the most useless powers imaginable. He was rejected from The Legion of Superheroes, and joined The Legion of Substitute Heroes. While his power does seem pretty worthless, it can come in handy in some situations. For example, The Green Lantern’s ring can’t pass through yellow objects, and Color Kid could change the object’s color. He could also distract colorblind enemies.
- Walrus Real Name: Hubert Carpenter Status: Bad Powers: Proportionate strength, agility, and speed of a walrus. First Appeared: Defenders# 131 1984 Creator: Marvel
The Walrus belongs to the strange breed of bizarre villains in the Marvel universe. He got his powers from his uncle’s experiments, and started on a crime spree. Unfortunately for Hubert, his newfound powers were incredibly useless! Humans run faster than Walruses, so it actually reduced his abilities. He became teammates with the equally useless White Rabbit, and they formed the Terrible Two. Their crime spree didn’t last long, as they soon got the crap beaten out of them by Spider-Man and Leap-Frog. It’s implied that they were beaten between huge fits of laughter!