Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • A Gift Garden by: Nathan & Arthur Culbert Illustrated by: N. Jane Quackenbush Genre: Kid’s Fiction Pages: 168 Release date: November 28th, 2018 Quick Summary: Kids try to help the less fortunate people get food.

The book seems like a very whimsical tale of helping people out. Unfortunately, the cover is the stuff of nightmares! The illustrator did a very crappy job of portraying children. They look like melting candle wax, and the scenery could be a manifestation of an LSD trip. Absolutely pathetic!

a gift

 

  • Rebellious by Alec Mustafayev Release Date: September 18th, 2018 Genre: Unknown Short Summary: A tale of a rebellious kid and his day to day life. 228 Pages

This cover looks like something straight out of the Amiga CDI! The human portrayed seems like he was designed in Microsoft Paint. In conclusion a horrifically bad art disaster.

rebell

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More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  •  Socckat (The Gaucho Pokemon) #288 Normal/Fighting Type  Ht: 3’03” Wt: 70.5 lbs Possible Abilities: Quick Feet (Increases speed if inflicted with a status ailment) or Scrappy (Normal and Fighting type moves can hit Ghost Types) Gender Ratio: 50/50 Appearance: A literal soccer cat. Base Stats: HP: 80, Attack: 105, Defense: 75, Sp. Attack: 55, Sp. Def: 65, Speed: 115 Base Stat Total: 495 (Pretty High Attack) Immune to Ghost and Weak to Fighting, Flying, Psychic, and Fairy. Doesn’t Evolve 

Entry: It is said to wear the number 17 in honor of the great Clovis Fernandes who lost 1-7 in the World Cup.

socckat

 

  • Apartmant (The Apartment Pokemon) #316 Bug/Rock Type Possible Abilities: Swarm (Increases Bug Type moves when your health is 50% or less) or Shell Armor (Nullifies critical hits) Appearance: An ant with an apartment on its back. Ht: 1’00” Wt: 9.9 lbs Gender Ratio: 50/50 Evolves from Housant at Level 29 Base Stats: HP: 90, Attack: 110, Defense: 120, Sp. Attack: 50, Sp. Def: 60, Speed: 70 Base Total: 500 (Very good Attack and Defense stats) Weak to Rock, Steel, and Water.

Entry: After evolving, it becomes at least three times bigger. Now its residents are much more comfortable.

apartmant

More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • From The Dust (Unalive Book 2) by Sid Ghost Released: December 3rd, 2013 Genres: Gothic Fiction and Horror 152 Pages Quick Summary: A book about the battle between 2 vampires.

This is one of the most generic covers I’ve ever seen. It has a black background with boring white text. There’s also a very “scary” vampire in the center. The cover looks like it was done in 20 minutes, and the book’s story would need to be exceptional to have anyone purchase it.

unalive

 

  • The Waters of Chaos Book 3 by Marc Severson Released: July 2nd, 2016 Pages: 252 Genres: Western, Horror, and Fiction Short Summary: People are getting infected by a mysterious sickness, and it’s up to the Chaos Police Department to stop it.

I ironically really enjoy this cover. The wavy text really reminds me of old-school word art, and gives me some nostalgia. The surrounding background has these really trippy rocks and minerals, that cause the book to glow. I actually would want to read this one, and would love to hear what you think of it in the comments’ section below. 

waters

More Awesome Cards From Rise of Shadows Part 2

Hello fellow Tavern Dwellers! It’s time for the second part of my Hearthstone post. All of the cards for Rise of Shadows were released today, so I’m going to give more of my opinions on them. Now, let’s have ourselves a brawl!

  • Safeguard Type: Neutral Minion Tribe: Mech Appearance: A walking safe with huge arms. Mana Cost: 6 Attack: 4 Health: 5 Effect: Taunt: Deathrattle: Summon a 0/5 Vault Safe with Taunt. 

This looks like a very unique minion that could synergize with magnetic creatures. Having a double taunt effect is always a good thing, and the stat line isn’t too bad either. 

safe

 

  • Mad Summoner Type:  Neutral Rare Minion Tribe: Demon Appearance: A two-headed demon with magical powers. Mana Cost: 6 Attack: 4 Health: 4 Effect: Battlecry: Fill each player’s board with 1/1 imps.

This card is absolutely incredible! Being able to fill the board with weak minions can stop your opponent’s plans in their tracks. I will see if I can create a powerful deck that revolves around this mechanic.

mad summoner

The “Best” Video Game Weapons/Characters (April Fools Special)

Hey everybody! It’s time for a totally rad post that’s totally not a joke! I am going to list some of the “best” characters and weapons in video games. Now, let’s begin this awesomely radical list!

  • Dan Hibiki Type: “Martial Artist” First Appeared: Street Fighter Alpha Ht: 5’9” Wt: 163 lbs Birthplace: Hong Kong  Fighting Style: His made up “Saikyo” style. Notable Feats/Abilities: Defeating Sagat (It was given to him) Pink Gi (From washing his white gi with colors) “Legendary” Taunt (A taunt so powerful that people stare on dumbfounded at its stupidity) Gadoken (A miserably short range fireball) Hissho Buraiken (A totally ripped off Ryuuko Rambu from King of Fighters, plus he doesn’t move)  Haoh Gadoken (A surprisingly effective, but again, totally ripped off move from King of Fighters)

Dan is the son of the famous Martial Artist, Go Hibiki. Go was killed by Sagat, and Dan sought vengeance on the Muay Thai master. In a strange turn of events, Dan was the victor, though Sagat lost on purpose. Getting a huge confident boost from the victory, Dan founded a dojo, but forgot to write down the address. Dan is a huge joke character, but some extremely experienced players can master this pathetic fighter. 

evil dan

 

  • The Klobbe Type: Automatic Gun First Appeared: Goldeneye (But I’m discussing the Enter the Gungeon version) Max Ammo: 900 Rank: D Damage: 1.2 

The Klobbe is a horrifically bad gun in Enter the Gungeon. It has the worst damage in the entire game, and its entry even comments on its crappiness. The only good thing about the gun, is that it has some ridiculously awesome synergies with other items. 

hlobbe

 

  • Butter Bean Type: Active Item in The Binding of Isaac #294  Effect: Farts on enemies, and pushes them back. 

This is one of the most useless items in Isaac. It’s a complete waste of an active item slot, and doesn’t do anything to help out your run. It’s so laughably bad, that there was a new version of it made in a later expansion.

butter bean

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Hyletrack (The Hype Train Pokemon) #096 Type: Steel/Fire Ability: Speed Boost (Increases Speed stat at the end of every turn) Genderless Ht: 13’05” Wt: 1620.4 lbs Evolves from Charagon at Level 30 Appearance: An awesome train with glowing red eyes. Base Stats: HP: 80, Attack: 90, Defense: 90, Sp. Atk: 70, Sp. Def: 70, Speed: 125 Stat Total 525 (Fantastic Speed Stats) Immune to Poison and Weak to Fire, Water, and 4X weak to Ground.

Entry: Hyletrack are known to be attracted to those who are hyped. Legends say that just seeing one will get you hyped too.

hyle

 

  • Cokemmoth  (The Addict Pokemon) #325 Ice Type Possible Abilities: Snow Warning (Summons a hailstorm in battle) or Speed Boost (Boosts speed at the end of each turn) Appearance: A blue mammoth covered in cocaine. Ht: 6’07” Wt: 264.6 lbs Gender Ratio: 50/50 Evolves from Snuffant at Level 32 Base Stats: HP: 105, Attack: 125, Defense: 75, Sp. Atk: 105, Sp. Def: 80, Speed: 40 Stat Total: 530 (High Attack and Special Attack) Weak to Fighting, Fire, Steel, and Rock.

Entry: Your cartel has arrived and we have 852,000 types of china white for you, and we have 955,000 types of heroin.

cokemmoth

Some of My Favorite Cult Films Part 1

Hello fellow Movie Lovers! It’s time for a very special post! I have a very soft spot for the bizarre side of cinema, and think people can make some pretty impressive films with a low budget. The following is a multipart post about some of my favorite Cult Films, and a short spoiler-free summary of each. Be warned though, some of these films contain some pretty controversial content.  Let me know some of your favorites in the comments’ section below, and I may feature them in an upcoming post. Now, grab so popcorn, and let’s begin!

  • The Room Type: Black Comedy, “Romance”, Tragedy,  Directed, Produced, and Written by Tommy Wiseau Rated: R (Language, Violence, and Sexuality) Date Released: June 27th, 2003 Starring: Greg Sestero, Juliet Danielle, Tommy Wiseau, Carolyn Minnott, and Philip Haldiman Runtime: 1 hr. 39 min 

No Cult Film list is complete without this “Painfully Funny” entry. The Room is a massive train wreck created by the enigmatic Tommy Wiseau. It has horrible acting, a shallow plot, and is ironically funny as hell. The story is about a wealthy banker named Johnny (Wiseau) who has a backstabbing fiancée, Lisa (Danielle) that cheats on him with his best friend, Mark (Sestero). What follows is a horribly made love story, that’ll will leave you in stitches.  The film is known as the Citizen Kane of Bad Movies, and has a huge cult following. The story of the film’s production is also quite fascinating, and Greg has released a book on it called The Disaster Artist. 

the room

  • Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead Directed by: Lloyd Kauffman Written by: Gabriel Friedman Produced by: Andrew Deemer Not Rated (But Probably R for Gore, Blood, Sex, Strong Violence, Politically Incorrect Humor, Gross Scenes, Strong Language, Nudity, and Alcohol) Starring: Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, and Allyson Sereboff Release Date: July 6th, 2012 Genres: Comedy, Musical, and Horror Runtime: 1hr 43 min

If you like incredibly comedic Body Horror films, you’ll fall in love with this film. Be warned though, it’s a Troma film, so expect gratuitous violence, sex, and other gross bodily functions. The plot tells the story of a military fast food restaurant called the American Chicken Bunker. It just so happens to built on ancient Indian burial grounds, so all sorts of chaos ensues. All of the main characters are named after fast food restaurants, and this really adds to the film’s charm. It’s also part musical, and the songs will have you dying of laughter all the way through. 

poultry