Crazy Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Art (Every Other Friday)

Hello fellow duelists! It’s Friday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more strange card art. Now, let’s duel!

  • Twin Long Rods 2 Type: Aqua Attribute: Water 3 Stars Atk: 850 Def: 700 Normal

Aside from the name sounding like a penis, this creature is just strange! It has an extremely odd body, and an absolutely terrifying face. Its eyes are popping out of its head and it has a horrifying expression that shows all of its teeth. The body almost resembles a dildo, and the veiny purple coloring doesn’t help at all!

wtf

  • Doom Donuts Type: Fiend/Dark Flip Effect Atk:0 Def: 0 1 star

I guess pastries are evil now?! This monster actually looks kind of cool, however its effect is questionable. What we have is a yellow, demonic looking donut with sharp teeth and bright red eyes. It can kill every monster with 0 attack and defense if its flipped up. This absolutely destroys cubic monsters, and all of those annoying XYZ creatures. Although the card is quite useful, it’s still just a living pastry! 

doom donuts

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Strange and Awesome Comic Book Characters (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow comic book fans! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more weird and wacky characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!

  • Count Vertigo Real Name: Warren Zytle  Status: Villain  Creator: DC First Appeared: Green Arrow Vol. 5 #22 (September 2013) Powers/Weapons: Cybernetic brain augmentations  that can produce disruption of equilibrium  and even death by inducing cerebral hemorrhages.

Warren was a frail child that was often ridiculed by his drug-addicted, prostitute mother. He was eventually sold to the Crius Mental Health and Research Hospital. He was experimented on by the delusional scientists, and put under the care of the icy Doctor Witchell. He had his brain modified by electronics, which eventually gave him his powers. He then slaughtered his supervisors, and became the monarch of his country. He continues to be a thorn in Green Arrow’s side.

vertiog       

Now for one of my favorite superheroes!

  • Plastic Man Real Name: Patrick Edward “Eel”  O’Brian Status: Hero First Appeared: Police Comics #1 (August 1941) Creator: DC Powers/Abilities: Completely malleable body; flexible skeleton; movable internal organs; extreme contortionist; shape-changing.

Eel used to be a prolific criminal who would always elude the cops. This all changed the day he was betrayed by his lackeys. During a chemical factory heist, Eel was shot and doused in a strange acidic solution. This allowed him to stretch his body into any shape imaginable. He wanted to make up for his crimes, and became the highly eccentric Plastic Man. I adore his costume, which is a bright red jumpsuit with a pair of groovy shades.

plastic man    

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Tuesday)

It’s time for another crazy look into the world of Pokemon Clover! As said before, some of these entries are controversial and vulgar in nature. If you can look past that, you’re in for a hell of a good time!

  • Deloris the Mindfuck Pokemon (Based off of a fusion of Bellsprout and Jynx) Grass/Ghost Type Female Only 7’10” 270lbs

Its signature move, Fizzbitch has the power to strike down 30 Indian elephants from a single tree. (This abomination’s cry is the Wilhelm Scream)

deloris

  • Marleyzard the Dank Pokemon (Based of of Bob Marley) Grass/Fire type 5’07” 199.5 lbs

420 Blaze it anyone? This Pokemon moves irregularly on the battlefield. Its weed wings can support its whole weight. (Its cry is smoke weed everyday!)

marleyzard.jpg

  • Unjoy the Undead Pokemon (It’s the severed head is Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny if shiny, and it has the most terrifying back sprite) Ghost type Female only 4’11” 103.2 lbs

 Unjoy absorbs the energy of sleepers to get nutrients. They hide in dark alleys in cities, waiting for wanderers to come close. (Its cry is the freaking Lavender Town theme!)

Instant nightmare fuel!!

unjoy

  • Frutagon the Pitaya Pokemon  (Based off of a dragon and a dragonfruit and it’s shiny is based off of the Digimon Flamedramon) Grass/Dragon type 6’07” 209.4 lbs

Its claws can cut through anything. Legends state a Frutagon once slain 665 Indian elephants with a single slash.

frutagon

 

  • Chromox the Googol Pokemon (Based of of Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Zigzaggon, and Poochyena) Fire/Steel type Genderless 5’03” 224.9 lbs

Chromox move around at blinding speed. Since Iplora are worthless, trainers try to evolve them as soon as possible. (Its cry is the logging into Chrome sound.)

chromox

  • Notridley the Space Dragon Pokemon (Definitely not based off of Ridley from Metroid and a mustache) Dragon/Flying type Male only 26’03” 2455.3 lbs

He soars through space on wicked wings. Notridley may look mindless, but he is intelligent. He is also not Ridley. (His cry is Anguirus’s cry.)

 notridley.jpg

I, Tonya Movie Review

Hello fellow viewers, and a Happy New Year! I hope that you all are doing well. I have decided to review one of my favorite films of 2017. Now, grab some popcorn, and let’s begin!

I, Tonya  Rated: R (Released October 19, 2017 in USA)

 Directed by: Craig Gillespie 

Written by: Steven Rogers

Starring: Margot Robbie, Sebastian Stan, and Allison Janney

 Genre: Sports, Drama, Dark Comedy, Biography

Running Time: 1hr 59 min

I,Tonya is a shockingly raw true story of the infamous ice skater, Tonya Harding (played by Margot Robbie). It also describes the controversy behind the Nancy Kerrigan incident. The film switches between documentary style and scripted lines. It begins with Tonya’s childhood, and the tumultuous relationship with her mother. Her father left her at a young age, and Tonya got along extremely well with him. From the very start, LaVona Golden, (played by Allison Janney), is portrayed as an oppressive and “rage- inducing” tyrant, with little to no respect of her daughter. She also is a very heavy drinker, and has a major chain smoking problem. She gives off such an amazing performance that the hatred towards her seems legit. Tonya is obsessed with ice skating, and is forced to a class at age 4. Ice Skating comes naturally to Tonya, and she becomes her captain’s best student.  As a teenager, Tonya meets her soon to be husband, Jeff, (played by Sebastian Stan). Stan is not well known as an actor, but puts on an absolutely fantastic performance. Jeff starts out as a seemingly normal guy, until he starts to verbally and physically abuse her. Tonya gets into a brutal confrontation with her mother which ends with Tonya getting a knife at her arm. She moves in with Jeff, and this is when things start going south. When Tonya starts to go to competitions, she develops a major ego, and this eventually leads to her downfall. After a bad stint with the judges, Tonya fires her coach and stupidly marries Jeff. During the wedding, Tonya gets badmouthed by her mother, who criticizes her for marrying young. She performs a triple Axel, a never before done skating move and becomes known as the best figure skater in the world. Next, Jeff and Tonya’s already fractured marriage reaches a terrifying crescendo when he smashes her head into a glass door. She leaves him, and hangs out with her friend and fellow competitor, Nancy Kerrigan. She soon reconciles with Jeff, and begins skating poorly. Life gets even worse with Jeff, who, surprisingly becomes even more abusive, threatening her with guns and verbal bashing. She finally does the right thing, and divorces the monster, and files a restraining order on him. The “Incident” comes up next, but I will leave it at that as not to spoil anything else. In conclusion, I, Tonya is a fantastic Black Comedy that dives into the dark and controversial life of one of the most infamous figure skaters that ever lived. It also shows the murky underbelly of competition and sports in general.

        Final Verdict: 9.0-10 (Excellent)

Even More Crappy Video Game Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to cringe at some more horrible video game art. Now, let’s get started!

  • Tommy Lasorda Baseball for the Sega Genesis 1988 Genre: Sports

This is a tricky Baseball game that was endorsed by the old manager of the Dodgers, Tommy Lasorda. I know that he’s trying to promote this game, but Jesus Christ, he’s horrifying! While Tommy in real life isn’t good looking, this cover is downright mocking! His face is fat and mushy, with disturbingly crossed eyes. It might be one of the earliest forms of nightmare fuel, and the artist should be ashamed of himself!

tommy lis

  • Panic Restaurant for the NES 1992 Genre: Action Platformer 

Panic Restaurant is a weird and wonderful platformer that stars a chef named Cookie. He fights against evil sentient food items and the evil chef, Ohdove. Once again, the video game cover fucks up everything! It depicts Cookie as a enraged chef with the face of a child molester. His head is disproportionate to the rest of his body, and frying pan is bigger than his noggin. There’s also a strange carrot in the background with blue eyeshadow and lipstick. Tell me what you think of this cover in the comments’ section below.

panic rest.jpg 

More Crappy Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Tuesday)

STRONG PROFANITY WARNING!!

Art found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to cringe profusely at some horrible video game cover art. Now, lets begin this adventure into the detritus of the video game world!

  • Fester’s Quest for the NES (1989) Genre: Adventure/Run and Gun

If you have been watching the Angry Video Game Nerd for as long as I have, you have probably seen his review for this game. According to James Rolfe; “This game is ass”! It’s a run and gun adventure game that stars Uncle Fester from the Addam’s Family. Unfortunately, the cover doesn’t do anything to ease the pain! It depicts the titular Fester as a bald, Curly Howard-looking, buffoon with incredibly red lips. He almost gives off the vibe of a pedophile with the strange sneer. There’s also a single spider hanging down from his head. If I can give the artwork any praise, I’d say that the mansion in the distance actually looks pretty good. The piece all together just rubs me the wrong way, and I don’t know if the creator was aiming for this or not. Tell me what you think of this “masterpiece” in the comments’ section below.

fest'.jpg 

 

  • Bust-A-Move Arcade 2 Edition for the Playstation (1995) Genre: Puzzle

I have already discussed one of the crazy covers before in an earlier post, but this one is just Fucked Up! As I said before, Bust-A-Move is an incredibly addicting puzzle game starring the dragons Bub and Bob of Bubble Bobble fame. The game had very cute graphics and exhilarating gameplay. Then we get to the cover, and all I can say is, WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!!! We have an image that wouldn’t look out of place in a Clockwork Orange! The cover has various bubbles with screaming faces inside. Their eyes are pried open with toothpicks, and they appear to be in great distress. I especially “adore” the tagline; “SO ADDICTIVE…IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL”! It’s crazy, because this is a rated “E” game! I’m going to show the cover, but be warned, it’s really unsettling! Tell me what you think of it in the comments’ section below.

bust a move   

More Hilariously Bad Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Covers found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to laugh and cringe at some more terrible game covers. Now, let’s begin! Be warned! Strong Profanity Ahead!

  • Megaman (1987): The original Megaman, the game that got me into this incredible franchise. I absolutely adore this game in nearly every way. The gameplay is fluid the weapons are super creative, and the music is mind blowing. Everything could have been great, if the American cover artist didn’t create a steaming pile of dog shit! I’m gonna be real with you guys for a second, this cover infuriates me! The love and passion that went into making one of the most iconic video game characters, is nowhere to be found on the cover. The Japanese cover is great, and definitely portrays the overall fun of the game. The art looks like it was vomited up by a drunken Science Fiction writer! There’s blurry buildings, and a random explosion in the background. Then we get to the “Blue Bomber” himself. Oh god! He’s wearing a nauseating blue and yellow jumpsuit that appears to be inflated. He has crossed brown eyes and a freaking unibrow! Then the viewers get a final punch in the face when the see his weapon. Instead of the iconic Mega Buster, he’s carrying a goddamn gun! I hope people can look past this artistic pile of puke, and adore this amazing game for what it is.

megaman       Oh This Hurts My Eyes!

  • Bust-A-Move Millennium for the Game Boy Color: Good old Bust-A Move! This is an iconic bubble popping game at arcades that star the characters of Bubble Bobble. The series is known of have incredibly bizarre cover art, ranging from babies blowing bubbles, to sadistic Ludovico-esque torture devices. This cover, in particular, looks like it was made in 30 minutes! Instead of the cute and snuggly bubble-popping dragons, we are subjected to the freak baby of Bowser and Reptile! He has one giant eye and a strangely placed fang. If the artist was going for a cute character, they failed miserably!

bust a move