More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow Book Lovers! It’s time for another Crappy Cover post! I hope you guys are ready to cringe and laugh profusely. Now, let’s begin!

  •  Angry House by Alexis Kennedy (February 1st, 2018) Genres: Horror and Ghost Fiction Pages: 244 Brief Summary: A widowed writer moves to the countryside to an old White House. The house holds a terrible secret, and the writer must learn this the hard way.

I really like the premise of this book, but the cover is complete trash. It depicts a shadowy figure that closely resembles death. There’s also a horrible Jpeg of flames that surround the title of the book. In conclusion the cover gives missed potential to an otherwise fascinating story.

angry house.jpg

 

  • Blood of Our Fathers by Sonny Girard (July 28th, 2010) Genres: Crime Thriller, Crime Fiction, Literary Fiction 592 Pages Quick Summary: A reformed mafia member tries to restart his fractured life.

Another wonderful concept for a book completely destroyed by an absolutely shitty cover. The art looks like it was done in about 5 minutes, and it smells very amateurish. It’s just a picture of a gun with a couple of bullet holes surrounding it. 

blood of our

More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow Book Lovers! It’s time for some more crappy covers. I hope you guys are ready to cringe and laugh! Now, let’s begin!

  • Griddle Creek: Fool’s Gold (Book 2) by M. Malenga Released: October 12th, 2017 Genres: Children’s Humor, Comic Book Pages: 32 Quick Summary: A typical museum heist story with quirky humor. 

I know this is supposed to be a kid’s book, but this art is completely unacceptable! It  seems like the artist just searched on Google Images for a picture of a diamond, and placed it on a black and grey background. If you are going to create a comic book, at least make the front cover appealing.

griddle

 

  • Facemate by Steven M. Greenberg Released: July 10th, 2019 Genre: Fiction Quick Summary: An Autistic boy discovers a futuristic dating site, and acquires unimaginable power. 386 pages 

What we have here is missed potential. The plot of this book seems really neat, and is definitely a unique concept. Unfortunately, the front cover makes it fall flat on its face. What we have is 4 “people” that are 3D nightmares. The graphics are extremely unsettling, and seem to delve into the “Uncanny Valley”.

face mate.jpg

More Crazy Urban Dictionary Entries

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow language enthusiasts! It’s time for some more ridiculous entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Folliculaphilia: A woman only attracted to men with mustaches.
  • Hallway Hobo: (College term) Refers to students who lay around in the hallways before class.
  • Clusterfuck: A huge problem or situation.
  • Feet: A device used for finding legos in the dark.
  • Milk Toast: A spineless person.
  • VPL: Visible Penis Line
  • Bool: To chill.

More Crazy Urban Dictionary Entries

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow wordsmiths! It’s time for another Urban Dictionary post! I always randomly choose words, so this will be as unpredictable as possible. Now, let’s begin!

  • DGAF: Acronym for Don’t give a fuck.
  • Nayeli: Native American phrase that means I love you.
  • Being Extra: Another way of saying that someone’s being pretentious.
  • Morning Clown: A breakfast at McDonalds.
  • Satan Death: Describes highly potent narcotics. 
  • Net Nanny: A stupid ass program that tries to police the internet.
  • Lofi: Chill and calming music. 

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries.  Now, let’s begin!

  • Rasclobber (The Amateur Pokemon) #153 Dragon/Fighting Type Ability: Iron Fist (Increases the power of punching moves by 20%) Gender Ratio: 87.5% male  to 12.5% female Evolves from Reptyke at Level 16 and Evolves into Batterex at Level 36  Ht: 3’11” Wt: 91.9 lbs Appearance: A small dragon with fists instead of claws. Base Stats: HP: 75, Attack: 95, Defense: 80, Sp. Atk: 40, Sp. Def: 60, Speed: 55 Base Stat Total: 405 (Extremely decent stats for a middle evolution) Weak to Flying, Ice, Dragon, Psychic, and 4x Weak to Fairy.

Entry: It fights using a combo of its arms and tail to confuse enemies. It lacks stamina for a drawn-out battle.

rasclobber.png

 

Strange Urban Dictionary Entries

Warning! This post can be extremely NSFW for some people. Read at your own risk!

Hello fellow literally fanatics! It’s time to get scandalous with a new Urban Dictionary post. I hope you guys are ready for some truly shocking entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Munter:  Noun: An ugly woman. (British Slang) That is one fat munter!
  • Kontol: Indonesian synonym for Penis.
  • Assclown: Noun: A person who doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about.
  • Fun Bags: (Slang for a women’s breasts).
  • VPILF: Vice President I’d Like to Fuck
  • Droo: Another word for dope, weed, hash etc.
  • Pipa: A glass pipe for smoking Crystal Meth.
  • CID: Caffeine induced dump.
  • Malta Goya: A substance so terrible that its creators should be murdered, or worse, forced to drink it themselves.
  • Halitosis: When your mouth and asshole smell the same.

 

More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s time for another humorous art post. Today, we will be looking at some more bad covers. Now, let’s take a dive into the bizarre world of  hilarious cringe.

  • Angela’s Arm by Roland Allnach Release Date: October 30th, 2018 Genres: Horror and Suspense 204 Pages Small Summary: A tale about a girl with a serpent for an arm.

Ok, I actually kind of love this cover because it reminds me of one of my favorite Anime. Unfortunately, it isn’t perfect, and I can see a lot of room for improvement. First of all, the hand has six fingers, which means that the owner isn’t human. Second, the book’s title is written in the standard “blood red” text to emphasize that it’s scary and edgy.  Lastly, the background looks photoshopped.

angela

 

  • Civil War II: The Battle for the Future of America by E. Robert Gurr Release Date: May 3rd, 2019 295 Pages Genres: Political Thriller and Suspense Short Summary: A war pits a teacher and a hacker against each other.

This cover is the epitome of boring and wasted potential. It’s just text on a white background. It tells nothing of what happens in the book, and looks like it was pieced together in about five minutes. Also, we gotta be edgy, so there’s more of that laughable “blood red” text.

gurr