Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • A Gift Garden by: Nathan & Arthur Culbert Illustrated by: N. Jane Quackenbush Genre: Kid’s Fiction Pages: 168 Release date: November 28th, 2018 Quick Summary: Kids try to help the less fortunate people get food.

The book seems like a very whimsical tale of helping people out. Unfortunately, the cover is the stuff of nightmares! The illustrator did a very crappy job of portraying children. They look like melting candle wax, and the scenery could be a manifestation of an LSD trip. Absolutely pathetic!

a gift

 

  • Rebellious by Alec Mustafayev Release Date: September 18th, 2018 Genre: Unknown Short Summary: A tale of a rebellious kid and his day to day life. 228 Pages

This cover looks like something straight out of the Amiga CDI! The human portrayed seems like he was designed in Microsoft Paint. In conclusion a horrifically bad art disaster.

rebell

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More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • From The Dust (Unalive Book 2) by Sid Ghost Released: December 3rd, 2013 Genres: Gothic Fiction and Horror 152 Pages Quick Summary: A book about the battle between 2 vampires.

This is one of the most generic covers I’ve ever seen. It has a black background with boring white text. There’s also a very “scary” vampire in the center. The cover looks like it was done in 20 minutes, and the book’s story would need to be exceptional to have anyone purchase it.

unalive

 

  • The Waters of Chaos Book 3 by Marc Severson Released: July 2nd, 2016 Pages: 252 Genres: Western, Horror, and Fiction Short Summary: People are getting infected by a mysterious sickness, and it’s up to the Chaos Police Department to stop it.

I ironically really enjoy this cover. The wavy text really reminds me of old-school word art, and gives me some nostalgia. The surrounding background has these really trippy rocks and minerals, that cause the book to glow. I actually would want to read this one, and would love to hear what you think of it in the comments’ section below. 

waters

The “Best” Video Game Weapons/Characters (April Fools Special)

Hey everybody! It’s time for a totally rad post that’s totally not a joke! I am going to list some of the “best” characters and weapons in video games. Now, let’s begin this awesomely radical list!

  • Dan Hibiki Type: “Martial Artist” First Appeared: Street Fighter Alpha Ht: 5’9” Wt: 163 lbs Birthplace: Hong Kong  Fighting Style: His made up “Saikyo” style. Notable Feats/Abilities: Defeating Sagat (It was given to him) Pink Gi (From washing his white gi with colors) “Legendary” Taunt (A taunt so powerful that people stare on dumbfounded at its stupidity) Gadoken (A miserably short range fireball) Hissho Buraiken (A totally ripped off Ryuuko Rambu from King of Fighters, plus he doesn’t move)  Haoh Gadoken (A surprisingly effective, but again, totally ripped off move from King of Fighters)

Dan is the son of the famous Martial Artist, Go Hibiki. Go was killed by Sagat, and Dan sought vengeance on the Muay Thai master. In a strange turn of events, Dan was the victor, though Sagat lost on purpose. Getting a huge confident boost from the victory, Dan founded a dojo, but forgot to write down the address. Dan is a huge joke character, but some extremely experienced players can master this pathetic fighter. 

evil dan

 

  • The Klobbe Type: Automatic Gun First Appeared: Goldeneye (But I’m discussing the Enter the Gungeon version) Max Ammo: 900 Rank: D Damage: 1.2 

The Klobbe is a horrifically bad gun in Enter the Gungeon. It has the worst damage in the entire game, and its entry even comments on its crappiness. The only good thing about the gun, is that it has some ridiculously awesome synergies with other items. 

hlobbe

 

  • Butter Bean Type: Active Item in The Binding of Isaac #294  Effect: Farts on enemies, and pushes them back. 

This is one of the most useless items in Isaac. It’s a complete waste of an active item slot, and doesn’t do anything to help out your run. It’s so laughably bad, that there was a new version of it made in a later expansion.

butter bean

Bizarre and Wonderful Books Part 1

Parental Advisory! These books may discuss some controversial themes. You have been warned!

Hello everyone, and welcome to a brand new post! I’ve wanted to discuss this topic for a very long time, and I thought that today would be a good place to start. Throughout the years, I’ve read some absolutely bizarre books. When I discovered “Bizarro Fiction” for the first time, it was like a match made in heaven! This genre is insane, and covers some of the most mind-blowing stories I’ve ever read. I see it as the “Abstract Art of Literature”. It has different meanings depending on who reads them, and isn’t afraid to touch on some offensive subjects. If this post makes you interested in this wonderful genre, then I’ve done my part. Now, let’s dive into the amazing world of Bizarro Fiction!

  • John Dies At The End by David Wong 2009 Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Humor, Science Fiction  464 Pages Age Rating: 17+ (Strong Language, Gore, Violence, Disturbing Imagery, Drug Usage) 

I’ve talked about this book multiple times in the past, and I still love it to death. The story is about two college kids that fight the paranormal occurrences in their undisclosed town. It also has to do with an absolutely insane drug known as “Soy Sauce”. The book was made into an equally awesome film, and spawned two sequel novels which are just as crazy.  Unlike most Bizarro Fiction books, this one can be found at local bookstores and libraries. I highly recommend checking this book out, and would love to hear what you think of it in the comments’ section below.

john dies.jpg

  • Zombies and Shit by Carlton Mellick III October 17th, 2010 Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Survival, Punk, Post-Apocalyptic, Science Fiction, Fantasy 312 Pages Age Rating: 17+ (Gore, Blood, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Shocking Imagery, Cultural Issues) 

What is there to say about Carlton Mellick III? He easily is one of the godfathers of Bizarro Fiction. His crazy look and explosively intriguing books make him standout in the crowd of literature. I first discovered him when I was researching books that were similar to the one mentioned above. The crazy artwork alone pulled me into the rabbit hole, and there I stayed. This particular novel is one of his coolest and most fascinating. It literally is what would have happened if you were to put Battle Royale, Mad Max, and Dawn of the Dead into a blender. If you like survival novels, you will adore this book. It is equally humorous and tragic with an excellent blend of hardcore punk. The twenty different characters are also very unique, and the story has many ridiculous plot twists throughout. Once again, I highly recommend picking up this book because it is one hell of a unique ride. (Zombies and Shit can be purchased on Amazon for $13)

zombies and shit

 

The main picture on this post is of the “Godfather of Bizarro Fiction” himself, Carlton Mellick III.

Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • Shadows of Sleep by Aaron Gritsch Release Date: August 17th, 2018 Genre: Fiction 383 Pages Plot: This is a tale about fighting demons while in sleep paralysis 

The plot of this book actually sounds pretty interesting, however, the cover is anything but pretty! It looks like a half-assed drawing of a shadow person that looks  like it could be done by anyone.

shafd

 

  • Finding Our Way by Jayson James Release Date: December 11th, 2013 284 Pages Genre: LGBT Fiction Plot: The story of a gay couple and their daily lives.

The story of this book is very fascinating, and I will probably read it someday. Unfortunately, the cover doesn’t do it justice. It’s a pencil drawing of 2 boys, however one of them looks high as hell. I honestly would treat a book discussing difficult subject matter to have a more refined cover.

jayson

Censored Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards

Hello fellow Duelists, and welcome to a special post! Censorship in the Yu-Gi-Oh card game has been a huge thing in North America. Many cards are changed completely from the original Japanese art. Some of them are understandable, while others leave me shaking my head. This post will be covering some of my favorite cards that Konami of America decided to censor.

  • Fiend Comedian Type: Normal Trap Current Artwork: A cute, comical duo of a green fiend and his yellow toothed assistant. 

This card barely saw play when it was released, however it’s used quite frequently in today’s meta. It has many synergies with mill decks, and the large card removal is more useful than people give it credit for. This, however, isn’t the original artwork, and the changes made were completely necessary. The original card looked like something straight out of a Japanese Horror film! The green fiend is now covered in throbbing veins, and has a very long tongue. The pink fiend, on the other hand, is completely screwed up! He has bulging eyes, is licking a large blade, and for some reason, has an afro. 

fiend

  • Parasite Paracide Type: Insect Earth Effect Appearance: A fearsome looking parasite with many tentacles and sharp fangs.

This card is not only one of the more annoying things in the game, but is also one of Insector Haga’s (Weevil Underwood’s) key cards. No other card can shuffle itself into the opponent’s deck, and literally “infect” its monsters. I do enjoy the international artwork of the card, but the Japanese original is a brilliant homage to body horror. It depicts an absolutely horrified knight with the titular card crawling out of his face. This is totally something that John Carpenter would make, and I love it for that.

parasite paraside.png

 

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Fireshitre (The Hot Shit Pokemon) #371 Fire/Poison Type Evolves from Fireshitwi at Level 48 and is the Final Evolution of Fireshi Appearance: A fireball cluster with three heads. Gender Ratio 50/50 Possible Abilities Flame Body (Burns foe on contact) or Levitate (Nullifies Ground-based moves) Ht: 2’11” Wt: 0.7 lbs Immune to none except Ground if its ability is Levitate and Weak to Rock, Water, Psychic, and Ground (4x weak). Base Stats: HP: 80, Attack: 50, Defense: 95, Sp. Atk: 120, Sp. Def: 105, Speed: 100 Base Stat Total: 550 (Highest Special Attack, along with Ebolable and Base Stat Total of all Non-Legendary Poison Types)

Entry: Fireshitre gets bigger the hotter it burns. It creates more Fireshi by splitting apart.

fireshitre

 

  • Tricillion (The Super Horn Pokemon) #103 Rock/Steel Type Possible Abilities Rock Head (Prevents recoil damage) or Guts (Increases Attack if inflicted with a status condition) Evolves from Tricient when exposed to a Horn Fossil Gender Ratio 50/50 Appearance: A literal Triceratops Ht: 5’03” Wt: 1119.9 lbs Base Stats: HP: 110, Attack: 130, Defense: 130, Sp. Atk: 20, Sp. Def: 110, Speed: 21 Base Stat Total: 521 (Highest Attack and HP of all Rock-type Pokemon)  Immune to Poison and Weak to Water, Fighting, and Ground

Entry: Tricillion was known as the enforcer. Whenever there was a fight, it would break it up using its large head. 

tric