The Crappiest Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Wednesday)

“Art” found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means!  Yes, it’s time to cringe, as we look at some horrible cover art. Now, let the crapfest begin!

  • Dudes With Attitude for the NES (1990) 

Dudes With Attitude was a piss poor action/adventure game for the NES. The object of the game is to use the “dudes” to collect colored gems and avoid the evil Gumsplats. Unfortunately the game had horrible controls and graphics. The cover doesn’t do anything to numb the pain, and is in fact, scary as hell! The art depicts 3 sentient balls surrounding a treasure chest. The leftmost figure is a blue female with black shades and a pucker mouth. The rightmost image is a yellow male with spiky hair, and a “shit eating” grin. The middlemost image is the fugliest of them all, and depicts a red male ball with an eyepatch, mustache, and demonic grin. This is completely unsettling, and causes the viewer to stay away from this abomination. (Come on, artists! You can do bettter than this!)

dudes with 

 

  • Final Zone II for the Turbo Grafx 16 (1990)

Final Zone II is a wonderfully fun shooter that’s quite similar to Ikari Warriors. If you have watched the Happy Console Gamer, there are chances that you have heard of this game. Two covers were made, one for Japan, and one for North America. The Japanese one is very cool, and portrays the main characters in an Anime style. The North American cover, other the other hand, is a giant pile of vomit! The artist must have been hitting the crack pipe pretty hard when he birthed this monstrosity! The character’s proportions are completely askew, and the faces look like grotesque bobble heads. The robot suits are morbidly obese, and the weapons look like construction equipment! Tell me what you think of this shitshow in the comments’ section below.

final zone 2 

Advertisements

Hall Of Shame: The Strangest Comic Book Characters (Every Other Tuesday)

Characters found in various DC and Marvel encyclopedias, and comicvine.gamespot.com

Hello fellow comic book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more ridiculous characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!

  • Black Talon Real Name: Samuel David Barone Status: Villain First Appeared: Avengers #152 (October 1976) Creator: Marvel Powers/Weapons: Limited necromancy, metal talons on boots and gloves

Samuel was a powerful voodoo priest with a legion of zombies at his command. He donned a chicken head crest and worked for the villainous Grim Reaper. He tried to  attack New York City with his zombies, but was stopped and shot to death by The Punisher. (While his powers are pretty strong, his overall design is just hilarious!)

 black talon

  • Mirage Real Name: Desmond Charne Status: Villain Creator Marvel First Appeared: Amazing Spider-Man #156 (1976) Powers/Weapons: Creation of illusionary self-duplicates

Desmond was a hologram technician that decided to become a villain. He created a power suit that granted him hologram manipulation. He started his criminal career by robbing from weddings and other society events. One of these weddings was being photographed by Peter Parker. He stopped Mirage by dropping a chandelier on his head. After many failed crime sprees, Desmond was shot to death by the Scourge of the Underworld. 

mirage

Carlson Mondays (Every Other Monday)

Paintings found on larrycarlson.bigcartel.com and larrycarlson.tumblr.com

Hello fellow art lovers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to dive into the amazing world of Larry Carlson. Now, get ready to have your mind blown by the amazing paintings!

  • Medijate Vibrate by Larry Carlson Pigment print on deep matte paper

This is an incredibly trippy work by “Computer Guru”, Larry Carlson. It’s an optical illusion piece that’s a true feast for the eyes! The piece is very similar to the “wave” optical illusion, however, Carlson adds his genius on top of it. If you look closely, you can see a meditating woman hidden within the waves. I love this work for its incredibly trippy effect of the viewer. I’d love to hear what you guys think of this piece in the comments’ section below.

medi

 

  • Fire Tree by Larry Carlson Pigment print on metallic paper

Here we have another amazing work by “Master Surrealist”, Larry Carlson. It’s a beautiful blend of realistic imagery, and mind-blowing psychedelia. The titular “tree” is a beautiful display of kaleidoscopic patterns and multicolored flowers. It really makes the viewer gasp in amazement. I especially love the blues that are used in the grass of the work.  Tell me what you think of this piece in the comments’ section below.

fire

Synthwave September (Sundays In September)

She Swallowed Burning Coals by El Tigr3 2015 from the Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number OST

This is a hauntingly wonderful track from the “Fiendishly Difficult” game, Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number. The songs in the game are all chosen to portray different emotions, and this one is no different! It makes the listener feel on edge as they are transported into the world of shady nightclubs and crime-ridden streets. The song plays in the game when you enter a mob-filled nightclub. The surroundings are very dark, and there’re sudden flashes of multicolored light. The piece starts with a ominous, droning synthesizer that surrounds the listener in a murky fog. The song starts to increase tempo until the bass drops, and we are met with a sick dance beat. The beat keeps getting more and more intense, and we also hear a woman speaking in Russian. She says “Ty pijany”, which roughly translates to “You’re drunk”. This can be taken in many different ways, and I will tell you what I believe it to mean. It can mean that you’re drunk on violence due to the incredibly brutal nature of the game. It can also mean that you’re drunk in the obvious sense, and that the surroundings are blending into a blurry mess of colors and sounds. The uneasy atmosphere and almost psychedelic feeling that it gives the listener really works out to its benefit. It’s a song that I always seem to drift back to, and it holds me in its entrancing rhythm. I’d love to hear what you guys think of this song in the comments’ section below.

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwj4oPPQ3b7WAhXqjVQKHbgmBK0QyCkIKTAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DbZKVuOYg6DY&usg=AFQjCNFBldsPQY_36hpIS-9BKmkG-alVIw

Hall Of Shame: The Strangest Comic Book Characters (Every Other Tuesday)

Characters found in various DC and Marvel encyclopedias, and on comic vine.gamespot.com

Hello fellow comic book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at the most bizarre comic characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!

  • Kite-Man Real Name: Charles Brown Status: Villain Creator: DC First Appeared: Batman #133 (1960) Powers/Weapons: Various Kite-Based Gadgets

As a child, Charles was always fascinated by kites. When he became an adult, he became the pathetic Kite-Man. He used a variety of kites to commit crimes, but was stopped by Batman on many occasions. He eventually met his end at the hands of the “Psychopathic Cannibal”, Bruno Mannheim.

kite.png

 

  • Codpiece Real Name: N/A Status: Villain Creator: Rachel Pollack of Vertigo Comics First Appeared: Doom Patrol #70 (1993) Powers/Weapons: Power suit and groin cannon (PFTTT)

When Codpiece was a high school, he asked a popular girl out. He was denied and told he wasn’t big enough. Thinking that she was taking about his dick, Codpiece made a power suit with a groin cannon. As an adult, he started committing crime and breaks into a bank. In an awesome turn of events, he meets his end at the hands of the Transgender superhero, Coagula. (WTF!)

codpiece

Asher’s Art Gallery (Every Other Monday)

Hello fellow art lovers! It’s Monday, and my Gallery is open once again! I hope you guys are ready for some incredible paintings. Now, have fun exploring my Gallery!

  • Mosaic II by M.C. Escher 1957 lithograph 

This is a work of optical excellence by “Dutch Surrealist”, Escher. The piece has many different objects and shapes, ranging from religious icons, to grotesque beasts. His brilliant use of black and white fill in all of the space on the canvas. I especially adore the deep sea fish-like creatures that surround the work. It’s also quite funny to see a random guitar placed in the painting. Tell me what you think of this work in the comments’ section below.

mosa

 

  • Improvisation 28 by Vassily Kandinsky 1912 oil on canvas

This is a great work by “German Expressionist”, Kandinsky. It’s an Abstract work with beautiful colors and wild slashes. There’s also a strange gear in the center of the painting. It’s not only a fantastically unique work, but also one of the first complete abstractions of canvas. Tell me what you think of this piece in the comments’ section below.

im,p  

Asher’s Pub (Thursdays)

Drinks found on drinksmixer.com and thedrunkenmoogle.com

Hello fellow Mixologists! It’s Thursday, and my Pub is open once again! I hope you guys are ready for some awesome drinks. Now, let me fix you up something special!

  • Slayer’s Blood (Buffy The Vampire shot) (Drink created by Critical Hit Cocktails)

Ingredients

  • 1 oz White Whiskey
  • .5 oz Peach Schnapps 
  • 1 dash Grenadine

Directions: Mix whiskey and schnapps into a shot glass. Pour in grenadine slowly and watch it sink to the bottom.

slay

  • Gamble Cocktail

Ingredients

  • 1 oz apricot brandy
  • 3/4 oz Mandarine Napoleon® orange liqueur
  • 1/2 oz sweet sherry
  • 1 oz mango juice
  • 3 tbsp vanilla ice cream

Directions: Blend briefly with half a glassful of crushed ice. Serve in a wine goblet. 

gamble