More Crappy Book Covers

Hello fellow Book Lovers! It’s time for some more crappy covers. I hope you guys are ready to cringe and laugh! Now, let’s begin!

  • Griddle Creek: Fool’s Gold (Book 2) by M. Malenga Released: October 12th, 2017 Genres: Children’s Humor, Comic Book Pages: 32 Quick Summary: A typical museum heist story with quirky humor. 

I know this is supposed to be a kid’s book, but this art is completely unacceptable! It  seems like the artist just searched on Google Images for a picture of a diamond, and placed it on a black and grey background. If you are going to create a comic book, at least make the front cover appealing.

griddle

 

  • Facemate by Steven M. Greenberg Released: July 10th, 2019 Genre: Fiction Quick Summary: An Autistic boy discovers a futuristic dating site, and acquires unimaginable power. 386 pages 

What we have here is missed potential. The plot of this book seems really neat, and is definitely a unique concept. Unfortunately, the front cover makes it fall flat on its face. What we have is 4 “people” that are 3D nightmares. The graphics are extremely unsettling, and seem to delve into the “Uncanny Valley”.

face mate.jpg

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More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Boarnograf (The Corruption Pokemon) #384 Dark/Ground Type Ability: Guts (Increases Attack by 50% if inflicted with a status condition) Genderless Appearance: A fearsome-looking beast that resembles a giant, red boar. Doesn’t evolve. Is the Legendary counterpart of Griffawork. Ht: 11’6” Wt: 1000.9 lbs Base Stats: HP: 130, Attack: 160, Defense: 125, Sp. Atk: 85, Sp. Def: 95, Speed: 105 Base Stat Total: 700 (Insanely good stats. The highest base stats of all Ground and Dark Types. Also, it has the highest Attack stat of all Pokemon). Immune to Psychic and Electric. Weak to Fairy, Ice, Grass, Bug, Fighting, and Water.

Entry: A champion of an ancient civilization, it conquered many rival nations until it imploded from its own corruption.

boar

 

  • Praunch (The Prawn Pokemon) #099 Water/Fighting Type Possible Abilities: Swift Swim (Speed is doubled in the rain) or Technician (Boosts 60 power or less moves by 50%) Evolves into Karawn at Level 23 and Mabster at Level 40 Appearance: A prawn with a fist for a tail. Gender Ratio: 50/50 Base Stats: HP: 30, Attack: 70, Defense: 70, Sp. Atk: 40, Sp. Def: 25, Speed: 60 Base Stat Total: 295 (Not bad Attack and Defense Stats) Ht: 1’04” Wt: 4.4 lbs Weak to Flying, Grass, Electric, Fairy, and Psychic.

Entry: Praunch usually dives to the seafloor where it can break rock formations with its tail to find food.

praunch

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Typobop (The Bop Pokemon) #334 Dark/Rock Type Possible Abilities: Run Away (Allows you to always flee a battle) or Sheer Force (Boosts the power of all moves that have additional effects by 30% and removes the added effects) Gender Ratio 50/50 Evolves into Yeerex when exposed to a Moon Stone Ht: 1’00” Wt: 9.9 lbs Appearance: The singing dinosaur from the “Yee” Meme. Base Stats: HP: 50, Attack: 81, Defense: 74, Sp. Atk: 40, Sp. Def: 40, Speed: 60 Base Stat Total: 345 (Pretty decent for a first evolution) Immune to Psychic and Weak to Ground, Steel, Bug, Grass, Fairy, Water, and 4x Weak to Fighting

Entry: Typobop communicates by singing. Unfortunately, this attracts predators, causing Typobop to go extinct. 

typobop

 

  • Dragun (The Cannon Pokemon) #141 Dragon/Steel Type Possible Abilities: Mega Launcher (Boosts the power of pulse and aura moves by 50%) or Sniper (Critical hits deal 1.5x more damage) Ht: 1’04” Wt: 47.2 lbs Appearance: A dragon with a cannon for a nose. Evolves into Triggedon at level 40 and into Cannonance at level 65 Gender Ratio 75% male to 25% female Base Stats: HP: 45, Attack: 25, Defense: 65, Sp. Atk: 100, Sp. Def: 45, Speed: 20 Base stat total: 300 (Extremely good Special Attack for a 1st evolution) Immune to Poison and Weak to Fighting and Ground.

Entry: Dragon are known to attack their prey with incredible accuracy. They can become aggressive when claiming territory.

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More Awesome TV Tropes

Hello fellow Pop Culture Enthusiasts! It’s time for another TV Tropes post! I hope you guys are ready for some awesome pop culture tidbits. Now, let’s begin!

  • Useless Useful Spell: A very common trope in RPGS. It deals with a spell that has a seemingly powerful effect, like death, petrify, or sleep. Unfortunately, the enemy, you are going to use it on is either immune to it, can be dealt with easier by a normal attack, or is very situational in effect. Some examples include; Death from the Final Fantasy series. As it says on the tin, this spell has a chance (albeit low), to instantly kill an enemy. Unfortunately, almost all bosses are immune to this, however, this usually works wonders on normal monsters. Next, there’s Syphon from the Epic Battle Fantasy series. This spell nullifies an enemies Magical Attacks for a certain period of time, causing it to rely on physical attacks instead. This can be a detriment, however, if the opponent has very strong physical power. On the other hand, this is one of the most useful spells against Monoliths, some of the series’ most powerful Magic Attackers. It renders them completely useless until it wears off. Lastly, we have the Stopspell from Dragon Quest II. It stops spells for a certain period of time, and even the final boss is vulnerable to it.

syphon Syphon from Epic Battle Fantasy.

 

  • Lotus-Eater Machine: A downright disturbing trope that’s used in many Horror media today. A character will wake up in an amazing place where all their dreams come true. Unfortunately, this is all an illusion caused by a machine that is being controlled by the villain. If left in the machine for too long, a person’s mind will rot, and they’ll be unable to differentiate between real life and fiction. Some examples include; The world of Link’s Awakening. (Spoilers ahead!) It turns out to be the Windfish’s dream, and when Link wakes up, it’ll be completely destroyed. Next, there’s the episode of Rick and MortyM. Night Shaym-Aliens! In the episode, the main characters get stuck in a simulation, with only the brainless Jerry believing that it’s real life. Lastly, we have the song Frozen by Celldweller. This hauntingly awesome song tells the story of a man captivated by the visuals of a gorgeous seductress. Despite it all being in his head, he refuses to wake up.

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More Crazy Urban Dictionary Entries

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Hello fellow wordsmiths! It’s time for another Urban Dictionary post! I always randomly choose words, so this will be as unpredictable as possible. Now, let’s begin!

  • DGAF: Acronym for Don’t give a fuck.
  • Nayeli: Native American phrase that means I love you.
  • Being Extra: Another way of saying that someone’s being pretentious.
  • Morning Clown: A breakfast at McDonalds.
  • Satan Death: Describes highly potent narcotics. 
  • Net Nanny: A stupid ass program that tries to police the internet.
  • Lofi: Chill and calming music. 

Asher’s Art Gallery (D&D Edition)

Hello fellow art lovers, and welcome to a very special art post! I have recently really gotten into Dungeons and Dragons. I love the great storytelling and the wide array of amazing classes. The monsters should also be noted, and the artwork is just fantastic. This gallery will be covering some of the most eye-catching characters. Luckily, there’s a monster manual that covers all of the monsters in the game, and I will be using it as reference. Now, let’s go on a fantastic journey!

  • Strige: Type: Beast Affiliation: Unaligned Attack: Blood drain: Deals 1d4+3 piercing damage and attaches to the target. When attached, the beast drains 1d4+3 hit points. Languages: None  Appearance: A horrific amalgamation of a huge bat and a mosquito. It feeds on the blood of the living, like mosquitoes do in real life. A small pack of them can be easily dealt with, however, in large numbers, they can be quite formidable. As if mosquitoes weren’t threatening enough (Shudders).

strige

 

  • Remorhaz: Type: Huge monstrosity Affiliation: Unaligned Immune to cold and fire.  Attacks: Heated Body: Any character that touches this monster, or uses a melee attack within 5 feet, will take 10 (3d6) fire damage. Bite: Does 40 (6d10+7)piercing damage plus 10 (3d6) fire damage. Swallow: The creature makes an attack against its grappled prey and swallows it. When swallowed, the prey is restrained and blinded and also takes 21 (6d6) acid damage at the start of each of the Remorhaz’s turns. Appearance: A fearsome, multi-legged creature with a blue body, large wings, and sharp fangs.

remorhaz.jpg

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries.  Now, let’s begin!

  • Rasclobber (The Amateur Pokemon) #153 Dragon/Fighting Type Ability: Iron Fist (Increases the power of punching moves by 20%) Gender Ratio: 87.5% male  to 12.5% female Evolves from Reptyke at Level 16 and Evolves into Batterex at Level 36  Ht: 3’11” Wt: 91.9 lbs Appearance: A small dragon with fists instead of claws. Base Stats: HP: 75, Attack: 95, Defense: 80, Sp. Atk: 40, Sp. Def: 60, Speed: 55 Base Stat Total: 405 (Extremely decent stats for a middle evolution) Weak to Flying, Ice, Dragon, Psychic, and 4x Weak to Fairy.

Entry: It fights using a combo of its arms and tail to confuse enemies. It lacks stamina for a drawn-out battle.

rasclobber.png