Strange Board Games (Every Other Wednesday)

Partial NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow gamers, and welcome to a new post! I have always been fascinated with board games as a kid, and I still play many to this day. I have decided to surf the web in order to find the strangest board games I can. Now, let’s go on a journey down the rabbit hole!

  • Bistourisq Type: Dice and Medical Ages: 14+ Origin: France 2-6 Players (2010) Designers: Gerard Moreau and Bertrand Victor  Box Art: A doctor in scrubs with a red clown nose and glasses. The game’s letters are scalpels. There’s also a nude woman with a leaf covering her vagina.

 Rules: This extremely bizarre French game is about Plastic Surgery. The players are both patients and doctors. The game is broken up into two rounds. The first round has the players rolling dice, drawing “perfect body” cards, and creating abominations. The second round has players moving around the board to “surgery squares”. The surgery is done by the others, and if the result matches a person’s “perfect body” card, they win. If it fails, however, the body will be even worse, and require more work to correct.

bistoresq     

 

  • Trailer Park Wars Type: Party Game, Humor, Economic, Card Game Ages: 13+ Origin: Oregon  2-6 Players  (2007) Designers: Lori Deida and Lisa Steenson Artist: Two Tree Art Publisher: Gut Busting’ Games Parts Included: 100 Plastic Flamingo Miniatures, 48 Trailer Cards, 130 Trailer Park Wars Cards, 24 Trailer Park Name Tiles, Instructions

Rules: This interesting game has players arrange 12 trailers around them like a clock. The middle houses cards that have the names of said trailers. Each player draws seven cards to begin, and as each turn progresses, they draw three and discard back to seven. Each of the seven cards are divided into four types; Action (Helps the player out or can be used against an opponent), Tenant (Person’s job, age, what can be placed near their trailer park,and how many flamingos they are worth), Amenities (Allow for more points when played), and Natural Disaster (Have negative effects on the opposing player). Once all the flamingos are gone, the player with the most flamingos wins.

trailer park wars  

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Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some crazy Pokedex entries. Now, let’s begin!

  • Ogrelord (The ALL OGRE Pokemon) #123 Pure Dark Type Based off of: Shrek and his Memes. Ability: Sturdy (Can retain one hit that would faint it) or Victory Star (Increases accuracy of all moves by 10%) Gender Ratio: 87.5% Male/ 12.5% Female Doesn’t evolve, but is the counterpart of Chantruth. Ht: 6’11” Wt: 953.1 lbs Stats: HP: 100 Attack: 130 Defense: 80 Sp. Atk: 65 Sp. Def: 81 Speed: 70 Base Stat Total: 526 (Pretty Good) Weak to Bug, Fighting, and Fairy Appearance: A spherical ogre with green skin and red spines.

Entry: Ogrelord is VERY protective of its swamp and will attack trespassers brutally. It cultivates its own onions. (It’s cry is GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!)

ogrelord

  • Baddon (The Dildo Pokemon) #147 Pure Dragon Type (Legendary) Based off of: A box of dragon dildos. Ability: Rough Skin (Hurts those who make physical contact with it) or Infiltrator (Ignores the effects of barriers) Gender: Male only Doesn’t evolve Ht: 2’04” Wt: 110.2 lbs Stats: HP: 73 Attack: 136 Defense: 148 Sp. Atk: 121 Sp. Def: 112 Speed: 50 Base Stat Total:640 (The highest base stat total of all Dragon types and the highest Defense and Special Defense of all Dragon types) Appearance: A peach-colored box with a red, purple, and green dragon-shaped dildo in it. Weak to Ice, Dragon, and Fairy.

Entry: In old times, Baddon were used as tools of war. They penetrated enemy forts with powerful thrusts. They were since hidden.

baddon.jpg

 

  • Sesquatch (The Ses Pokemon) #368 Normal and Ghost type Based off of: Sasquatch and the “Suddenly ses” meme. Ability: Mummy (Changes target’s ability to Mummy with physical contact) Gender Ratio: 50% Male/ 50% Female Doesn’t evolve Ht: 7’10” Wt: 176.4 lbs Stats: HP: 95 Attack: 90 Defense: 105 Sp. Atk: 55 Sp. Def: 95 Speed: 70 Base Stat Total: 510 (Good plus awesome typing) Appearance: A sasquatch-like creature with brown and white fur, sharp teeth, and a long nose. Immune to Ghost, Normal, and Fighting types. Weak to Dark.

Entry: Legends tell of a man that went into the forest to hunt this creature. He became distracted by a strange scent, when suddenly, [spoiler]ses [/spoiler] (Its cry is a demonic “ses” sound)

ses.jpg   

Asher’s Game Reviews (One Every Two Months)

This post discusses some pretty controversial subject matter. You have been warned!

The Binding of Isaac+the various expansions Creators: Edmund McMillen, Nicalis, Tyrone Rodriguez, Florian Himsl (Only for the initial Flash versions) Music: Danny Baranowsky (For the Flash game) Matthias Bossi and Jon Evans (For Rebirth and Afterbirth), Mudeth (For Antibirth)  Release Dates: Vanilla Isaac (September 28, 2011) Wrath of the Lamb (May 28, 2012) Rebirth (November 4, 2014) Afterbirth (October 30, 2015) Antibirth (December 23, 2016) Afterbirth+ (March 17, 2017) Genres: Roguelike, dungeon crawler Platforms: PC, 3DS, Switch, Xbox One, PS4, IOS, Wii U, Linux, PS Vita, Mac OS  ESRB Rating: M for Blood and gore, Violence, and Crude humor

This is one of my absolute favorite video games, and I have been following it since its Newgrounds demo in 2011. I was always a fan of McMillen’s work, and this project was no exception. It was originally made in Flash, but the speed of the engine was quite slow, and the frame rate often glitched up. During Rebirth, the product was completely remodeled, and the game moved at a much faster rate. A year later, a new expansion called Afterbirth was created. During the wait for the latest expansion, the community made an exceptional add on known as Antibirth. The last expansion made was Afterbirth +, and this allowed people to mod the game by creating new items, characters, bosses, and floors.  The game tells the story of Issac, a bald child that lives with his extremely religious mother. One day, Issac’s mother hears the voice of God, which tells her to sacrifice her son. Upon hearing this, Issac rushes to his room and quickly locks the door. He then finds a trapdoor hidden under his rug, and the game begins. You travel through various worlds, fighting monsters, collecting items, defeating bosses, and eventually facing your own mother. In the PC version, Isaac moves around with the WASD keys, and fires tears with the arrow keys. These tears are Isaac’s main form of attack, and can be changed around with the astronomical number of items in the game. You always start the run in the Basement or Cellar, which is comprised of two floors. You also have a money counter, bomb counter, and key counter, which max out at 99. Upon pausing the game, can see your stats, which are divided into health, damage, tear rate, range, shot speed, speed, and luck. Each of the 14 characters have different stats, and these either make the game harder or easier.  The floors contain various enemies, secret rooms, libraries, bedrooms, I Am Error rooms, sacrifice rooms, boss battles, item rooms, shops, arcades, and devil or angel rooms depending on your game style. You start at zero percent of both angel and devil, and depending on what you pick up, increasing or decreases it. You boost the devil chances by literally selling your hearts for power, collecting satanic items, like a pentagram, going into curse rooms, and blowing up beggars. Angel deals are more defensive in nature, however some of the best items appear here. While they’re rarer than devil deals, they can be picked up without any life cost. The items can be categorized into two different categories, Active and Passive. Active items take up a spot above your character, and can be used at different times depending on the recharge time. Passive items are permanent increasing or decreasing items, which can grant Isaac new tears and cosmetic changes. Some of these items can be extremely unsettling, like Proptosis, which causes Isaac’s eyes to bulge and fire large, rapidly shrinking tears. Trinkets, Runes, Tarot Cards, Playing Cards, and Pills also play a major role in the game. These are all, with an exception of trinkets, single use items that have a variety of useful and horrific effects. The trinkets are collectables that contain passive bonuses, and you can usually only have one of these at a time. The main appeal of Isaac, is that every run is randomized, which can lead to incredible game-breaking item synergies and completely different playing styles. I have had many amazing and chaotic runs due to this feature, and it is always exhilarating to see what the RNG has out for you. Now, the game does have permadeath, which means if you die, you can’t continue the run. The game has a steep difficulty curve, especially with some of the characters. (This means “you” The Lost!) However, if you can look past this, you will find out why I love it so much. I also can’t go on without discussing the soundtrack. The original game’s music was composed by the amazing Danny Baranowsky, who also did music for Super Meat Boy. The pieces are extremely well written, and invoke a multitude of emotions for the different parts of the game. Bossi and Evans composed the Rebirth and Afterbirth soundtracks, which are also fantastic. Then, we get to Mudeth’s Antibirth soundtrack, and my god, this is 100% ear candy. From the super catchy basement theme, to the dark and theremin-heavy womb theme, this is my all time favorite music in Issac. I highly recommend this game to Roguelike enthusiasts, and fans of the first Legend of Zelda, but be warned, many of the items and subject matter is very disturbing and sacrilegious. If you can look past this, you’re in for a hell of a good time!

Final Rating: 10/10 (Absolutely Incredible!)

Here’s a link to the womb theme, it’s fantastic!

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjmj8Pz7vvZAhXIyoMKHWlTCooQtwIIKTAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DFGWkTYMdt8Y&usg=AOvVaw3kztuHJqcE1rF5wfEejWJ_

Creepy Pokedex Entries (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more creepy entires. Now, let’s begin!

  • Primape aka the most pissed off creature in existence!

Pokemon Sun Pokedex Entry: It will never forgive opponents who have angered it. Even after it has beaten them down until they can’t move, it never EVER forgives. (Jeez, take a chill pil—–*gets punched in the face*) 

primape.jpg

  • Ferrothorn aka Death by spikes!

Pokemon X Pokedex Entry: By swinging around its three spiky feelers and shooting spikes, it can OBLITERATE an opponent. (Not destroy, OBLITERATE!)

ferro funny

Even More Creepy Pokedex Entries (Every Last Tuesday of the Month)

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Tuesday, and I have a special treat for you! Two weeks ago, I purchased the Ultra Sun and Moon Pokedex. The books keep getting bigger, and this one is no exception! This massive tome is a whopping 696 pages of everything Pokemon. As with every new game, the dex’s entries change, with some being hilarious, to others being downright terrifying. Now, let’s dive into the amazing world of Pokemon!

  • Phanpy Pokemon X Pokedex entry: As a sign of affection, it bumps with its snout. However, it is so strong, it might send you flying. (A nearly 2 foot creature can send you flying with its trunk? Jesus!) (It’s still cute as hell though!)

phanpy.jpg

  • Drampa Pokemon Ultra Sun Pokedex Entry: If a child it has made friends with is bullied, Drampa will find the bully’s house, and BURN IT TO THE GROUND. (Some Pokemon have grudges, this one freaking commits arson!)

drampa.jpg

More Strange Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to go back into the crazy world of Pokemon Clover. Now, let’s continue our bizarre  journey into 4chan’s warped mind!

  • Jerkle (The Dream Pokemon) #306 Based off of the action of “Circle Jerking” (Only look up if you can stand NSFW content) Rock/Psychic type Ability: Aftermath Genderless Height: 2’04” Weight: 165.3 lbs Appearance: A group of blue blobs huddled around a phallic rock. Doesn’t evolve and is the counterpart to Faptime.

Entry: Jerkle groups always huddle near boxes, often making them gooey. Their affection toward it is proven to last a lifetime.

jerkle

 

  • Mirrostine (The Reflection Pokemon) #167 Based off of a possessed mirror and R.L.Stine Ghost/Steel Type Ability: Lighting Rod or Trace Gender: Male or Female Height: 3’07” Weight: 15.0 lbs Doesn’t evolve Appearance: A surprised, silver mirror with arms.

Entry: The face inside the mirror is always silently screaming. The mirror itself cannot be broken.

mirror

 

  • Glassannon (The Glass Cannon Pokemon) Based off of a glass cannon;a character with low health, but high attack power. Ice/Steel Type Ability: Speed Boost or Bulletproof Gender: Male or Female Height: 6’03” Weight: 673.3 lbs Evolves from Glasshot at level 38 Appearance: A literal glass cannon.

Entry: Even though Glassannon is known as a fast, cold blooded exterminator, its glassy body is extremely fragile.

glass 

 

Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

Warning! NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more crazy Pokedex entries. Now, let’s see what Fochun and Ebin have to offer us!

  •  Warudio (The World Pokemon) #282 Dark/Fighting Type Gender: Male or Female Ability: Regenerator  Ht: 6’03” Wt: 231.5 lbs (Based off of the main antagonist of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, a super strong vampire named Dio Brando and his stand, The World.) The final evolution of Diobat. Evolves when exposed to a Moon Stone

Description: A yellow, vampire bat-like creature with red eyes and spiky hair.

Dex Entry: Warudio was the power to stop time for short periods, making the opponent useless. (Its cry is WRYYY! The sound effect Dio makes when he stops time and smashes his opponent with a steamroller).  

warudio

  • Saudoge (The Doge Pokemon) #257 Fire/Flying Type Ability: Blaze Gender: Male or Female Ht: 10’06” Wt: 286.8 lbs The final form of Hodtog. Evolves from Wienebark at level 38 (Based off of the old Doge meme and a flaming Chinese dragon).

Description: A red, fiery hotdog and dragon hybrid.

Dex Entry: While flying through the sky, Saudoge is often confused for a dragon.

saudoge

 

  • Senketula (The Scissors Pokemon) #298 Bug/Dark Type Ability: Hyper Cutter or Intimidate Gender: Male or Female Ht: 3’11” Wt: 66.1 lbs Evolves from Araketsu at level 21 (Based off of the main character’s weapon in Kill La Kill)

Description: An incredibly cool spider-like creature with large fangs, strange eyes, and a black body.

Dex Entry: Araketsu take this form when their blood boils way too much. Although Senketula are considered monsters, they never lose their way. (It’s cry is Don’t Lose Your Way! This is a reference to Kill La Kill’s opening song).

senkey