Asher’s Video Game Reviews (Every Other Month)

Hello fellow Gamers! It’s time for my Bimonthly video game review! This particular game has been a favorite of mine for quite a while. Now, let’s begin our bloody journey into the world of Hotline Miami!

Hotline Miami Release Date: October 23, 2012 for Windows and Mac Rating: M for intense violence, strong language, drug use, gore, and sexual content. Published by Devolver Digital, Developed by Dennaton Games, Designed by Jonatan Soderstrom and Dennis Wedin, Programmed by Jonatan Soderstrom, Artist: Dennis Wedin, Written by Jonatan Soderstrom and Dennis Wedin, Music by Sun Araw, M|O|O|N, Perturbator, Jasper Byrne, Scattle, Elliott Berlin, Eirik Suhrke, CoConuts, El Huervo, and Shelby Cinca. Genre: Top-down shooter   

Hotline Miami is an ultraviolent Top-down shooter that takes place in the late 80’s. The story starts with our main character, Jacket, meeting with three unknown figures in animal masks. The rooster and horse mask appear to know who he is, while the owl masked figure responds with hostility. We then move to Jacket in his apartment when the phone rings. The call tells him to “take care” of something downtown. He also gets a box with a rooster mask inside. He leaves in his awesome DeLorean-like car, and the game begins. Jacket starts out with only one mask, however he collects many more as the story progresses. The gameplay is in the style of a Top-down shooter, with Jacket facing numerous thugs and Russian mobsters. The enemies can be killed in various ways, ranging from knives to Uzis. Keep in mind, however, that you’re only human, and one hit from anything will kill you. Fortunately, the game has unlimited continues, and will actually reward you for playing recklessly. The violence is quite extreme, and even though it’s from a top-down perspective, you see every blow in visceral detail. The game is enhanced even further with one of the most amazing soundtracks. The songs go perfectly with whatever is going on in any situation, and it creates some great immersive gameplay. The game was met with critical praise, and a sequel was made three years later. I highly recommend this game to people who love a gristly crime story and fast, action-packed gameplay.

Final Rating: 9.00/10 (Close to perfection) 

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Strange SCPs (The Last Wednesday of the Month)

Hello fellow researchers! It’s time for a special end of the month post! I have written many posts on the SCP foundation in the past, so why not bring back an old flame? Now, let’s begin today’s research!

  • SCP-162 The Ball of Sharp  Object Class: Euclid

Description: SCP-162 is a mass of fish hooks, fish line, needles, scissors, and other sharp objects in a rough ball shape close to 2.4 m (8 ft) in width and 2.1 m (7 ft) in height. After being in SCP-162’s vicinity, subjects have reported feeling drawn to the object in order to touch it. This desire can extend for several weeks after seeing the item, becoming an obsession in many cases. The “draw” increases the more the object is observe, and people will become violent if pulled away from it.

If handled, the hooks will be embedded in the subject’s skin. The experience is extremely painful, much more so than normal fish hooks.  Struggling or attempting to escape will result in complete entrapment on the surface of SCP-162. Subjects will bleed profusely, resulting in death after a prolonged period of time. The only apparent cure for the entrapment is to release SCP-1114 on it. While the entrapment will stop, the compulsion to touch SCP-162 won’t go away.

ball of sharp       

 

  • SCP-312 The Atmospheric Jellyfish Object Class: Euclid 

Description: SCP-312 is an organism composed of very thin tissue layers and filled with atmospheric gases at a slightly higher temperature than the surrounding air. It floats approximately (BLANK) meters above the ground, although it will vary this in order to maintain its position relative to prey.

SCP-312  can create clouds and manipulate air currents. It also has multiple eyes that it uses to detect prey. It has powerful tentacles that can paralyze prey if looked at. 

scp 312

More Strange Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to go back into the crazy world of Pokemon Clover. Now, let’s continue our bizarre  journey into 4chan’s warped mind!

  • Jerkle (The Dream Pokemon) #306 Based off of the action of “Circle Jerking” (Only look up if you can stand NSFW content) Rock/Psychic type Ability: Aftermath Genderless Height: 2’04” Weight: 165.3 lbs Appearance: A group of blue blobs huddled around a phallic rock. Doesn’t evolve and is the counterpart to Faptime.

Entry: Jerkle groups always huddle near boxes, often making them gooey. Their affection toward it is proven to last a lifetime.

jerkle

 

  • Mirrostine (The Reflection Pokemon) #167 Based off of a possessed mirror and R.L.Stine Ghost/Steel Type Ability: Lighting Rod or Trace Gender: Male or Female Height: 3’07” Weight: 15.0 lbs Doesn’t evolve Appearance: A surprised, silver mirror with arms.

Entry: The face inside the mirror is always silently screaming. The mirror itself cannot be broken.

mirror

 

  • Glassannon (The Glass Cannon Pokemon) Based off of a glass cannon;a character with low health, but high attack power. Ice/Steel Type Ability: Speed Boost or Bulletproof Gender: Male or Female Height: 6’03” Weight: 673.3 lbs Evolves from Glasshot at level 38 Appearance: A literal glass cannon.

Entry: Even though Glassannon is known as a fast, cold blooded exterminator, its glassy body is extremely fragile.

glass 

 

More Of The Schmidt Pain Index (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow Entomologists! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, its time for us to take a look at some more dangerous insects. Now, let’s begin!

  • Maricopa harvester ant (Pogonomyrmex maricopa) Size: The tip of your finger Pain Index: 3 Diet: Seeds Habitat: Arizona 

This species of harvest ant is mainly found in Arizona. It has a bright, red body and a very potent venom. The ant species harvests seeds for consumption, and make their homes in gravel or rock-rich environments. The sting is infamous for being extremely painful, and 12 stings call kill a mouse. Schmidt describes the pain as: “A drill wedged into an ingrown toenail.” o_O! To make matters worse, the pain can last for up to four hours!

maricopa.jpg

 

  • California carpenter bee (Xylocopa californica) Size: 12-25 mm Diet: Nectar Habitat: California, Mexico, Nevada, Oregon, and Utah Sting Index: 2.5

The California carpenter bee is a large, black bee with big wings, powerful mandibles, and a stinger. The females are the only ones who sting, while the males focus on pollination. Schmidt describes the pain as: “Swift, sharp, and decisive, like slamming a fingertip in a car door.”

  carpenter bee

More Of The Schmidt Pain Index (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow Entomologists! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more scary creatures. Now, let’s start exploring!

  • Velvet Ant (Dasymultila klugii) Size: 0.75 in Habitat: The North American Southwest  Diet: Larvae and adult insects Schmidt Pain Level: 3

The Velvet Ant, or “cow killer”, is a large ground wasp with a hairy, orange body. While not an actual species of ant, its appearance can confuse people. It’s known for delivering an excruciating sting that can last for 30 minutes. Only the females have the stinger, which is quite long and pointy. Coyote Peterson described the pain as radiating and fiery with a tingling sensation.

velvet 

 

 

  • Tarantula Hawk (Pepsis Thisbe) Size: 5 in Diet: Tarantulas Habitat: Worldwide  Schmidt pain index: 4

The Tarantula Hawk is an incredibly scary, parasitic wasp with an amazingly painful sting. They hunt tarantulas, and paralyze them before eating them whole. The pain is equivalent to being shocked with a taser. The females are the only ones that sting, and won’t unless provoked. 

tarant

The Schmidt Sting Pain Index (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow Entomologists! It’s Tuesday, and it’s time for a brand new post! I have talked in detail about Justin Schmidt. He is a famous Entomologist that invented the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. The index categorizes insect stings on a 1 to 4 scale with 4 being the most painful. He wrote a fantastic book called The Sting Of The Wild, which highlights his experiences with these dangerous insects. The Brave Wilderness Youtube channel also goes in depth about these insects, and I highly recommend subscribing to the channel because Coyote Peterson is god! This post will cover 2 different insects from the index and a quick description of them. I also will be covering an insect that has yet to be recorded on the index. Be warned! Some of these entries are quite scary! Each entry will have a link to the Brave Wilderness Channel where Coyote gets bitten/stung by these insects.

  • Giant Desert Centipede (Scolopendra heros) Schmidt Index Rating: ??? (Probably a 4) Size: Up to 8 in Habitat: Northern Mexico and the Southwestern United States Diet: rodents, amphibians, insects

The Giant Desert Centipede is one freaky critter with a bright red head and greenish black body. It primarily hunts at night, and has a highly potent venom. It has savage pincers which deliver an excruciating bite. Coyote admitted that it was more painful than a Bullet Ant, which is the highest ranked insect on the index. People who are bitten usually suffer headaches, nausea, lesions, and in worst cases, death. Don’t mess with this insect!

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiUm5mvyd3YAhUP2VMKHYPKC2UQtwIIMzAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnWZMfPP34g8&usg=AOvVaw1e9-OyWIjT7kpT-ebNfx11

 

  • Warrior Wasp (Synoeca septentrionalis) Schmidt Index Rating: 4 Size: 0.79 in Habitat: Central and South America Diet: Nectar and pollen  

The incredibly creepy Warrior Wasp is one of the most infamous creatures on the Schmidt Pain Index. These insects are dark blue in color and have dangerously sharp stingers. This species of Paper Wasp is extremely aggressive and will sting if threatened. The stinger will fall off if this happens, and the insect will die. Schmidt described the pain of the sting as “pure torture, like being chained to the flow of an active volcano”. Coyote was in immense pain when stung, and his arm was paralyzed for 5 minutes. It’s terrifying that such a small creature can deliver such a painful sting. Be warned! This video will make you scared of bees!

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=11&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjolqba0t3YAhWEvVMKHVmYBHoQtwIIWzAK&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dunk6n3_QdlM&usg=AOvVaw0m6WvbCRKOfAOj2qSyXqUs

Nature is Awesome (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow nature lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take another look at some awesome creatures and plants. Now, let’s start exploring!

  • Blue Dragon (Glaucus atlanticus) Size: Up to 3 cm Habitat: The Indian and Pacific Ocean  Diet: Carnivorous 

The Blue Dragon is an absolutely gorgeous species of sea slug. It’s a very tiny creature that is extremely poisonous. It can feed on the Portuguese man o’ war, and uses the poison to fend off predators. It’s makes you shocked to find out that this creature is more dangerous than the giant menace it feeds upon.

blue dragon

 

  • Baseball Plant (Euphorbia obesa) Size: 15 cm Habitat: South Africa 

The Baseball Plant is a very strange flora that’s indigenous to South Africa. As the name states, the plant is shaped like a green baseball, with 8 ridges that resemble stitches. It contains a reservoir of water to use in droughts. It’s also quite toxic, and will cause horrible skin problems if held.

baseba