More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

• Red Planet by Robert A. Heinlein (October 17th, 2018) Genre: Science Fiction Pages: 258 

This is a Science Fiction novel about a group of school kids that go to Mars and have all sorts of crazy things happen to them. The cover is an absolute train wreck though. There are two ultra deformed people, presumably the students, and a bizarre looking alien. The faces are extremely off-putting, and could give anyone nightmares.

 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

 

• At the Point of a Quarrel by Paul Telegdi (September 20th 2016) Genre: Unknown 

This is a book about war in France. The cover is actually quite pretty, well, at least the coat of arms is. Then, you get to the left of the cover, and see a hunchbacked solider with a knife in his mouth. He looks completely deranged and very off putting.

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More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look a some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

• Militant (The Bullet Ant Pokemon) #352 Bug/Poison Type Appearance: A pixilated bullet ant. Ability: Infiltrator (Breaks through shields) Doesn’t evolve       Gender Ratio: 50% Male to 50% Female  Ht: 0’4” Wt: 0.2 lbs Base Stats: HP: 20, Attack: 155, Defense: 15, Sp. Atk: 10, Sp. Def: 15, Speed: 130 Stat Total: 345 (Extremely bizarre stats with very high attack and speed) Weak to Flying, Rock, Fire, and Psychic

Entry: Long ago, Pokemon started fainting without explanation. Investigations showed multiple ant bites. Militant was then discovered.

Extremely tiny eh?

 

• Cheerific (The Cheerleader Pokemon) #079 Fairy Type Abilities: Cute Charm (30% Infatuation on contact) or Healer (30% chance of healing ally’s status condition at the end of the turn) Female only Appearance: A pink, angelic cheerleader. Evolves from Cheerly at Level 19 Ht: 3’11” Wt: 41.0 lbs Base Stats: HP: 60, Attack: 72, Defense: 68, Sp. Atk: 52, Sp. Def: 88, Speed: 95 Stat Total: 435 (Balanced stats across the board) Immune to Dragon and Weak to Poison and Steel.

Entry: When its trainer is battling, it will not stop cheering and shouting until the end, no matter what happens.

The Day Of Halloween! Special Mythology Post!

Hello boys and ghouls, and Happy Halloween! I hope you guys are having a frightening day! As per usual during this time, I will be discussing a very creepy topic. Today’s post will be on disturbing and creepy mythical creatures. Now, let’s begin this ghoulish post!

• Nuckelavee: The Nuckelavee is a fearsome creature from Orcadian mythology. It’s depicted as a being with the body of a horse and the torso and head of a man. It has one crimson eye, and a large protruding mouth, similar to that of a pig’s. The beast is very aggressive, and will attack humans on sight. It’s also said that his breath is poisonous, and will cause decay and disease. The only way to stop this monster, is to find a place with water, as this creature is unable to wade through it.

• Inkanyamba: The Inkanyamba is a dangerous sea creature of South African folklore. It’s usually depicted as a huge serpent with a horse’s head. It has a terrible temper, and is known for causing seasonal storms.

Halloween Week! Creepy Paintings

Hello guys and ghouls! Welcome to the holiday special! Every day this week, I will be posting a new creepy topic. Now, let’s start this ghoulish week with some creepy paintings!

• Anatomical Pieces by Theodore Gericault 1819 Oil on canvas 

This is a very visceral work by “French Realist”, Gericault. It’s a “Still-Life piece which depicts many human body parts. The heavily detailed and realistic-looking parts give the viewer a sense of dread. However, I find this piece to be morbidly gorgeous in its own way. The severed arm has its bones intact, and the meticulous preservation of them makes it a true sight to behold.

• The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch 1480-1505 Oil on 3 oak panels

This incredible piece was made over the course of 20 years, and the insane detail definitely shows Bosch’s talents. The work is supposed to depict life’s greatest pleasures including; sex, lust, wrath, sin, and leisure. The first panel portrays 3 fleshy, nude figures in a beautiful green garden with a phallic, pink fountain. The second panel portrays more nude figures and some absolutely gorgeous flora and fauna. Some of the people are having sex, and floating across a giant river in apple-shaped boats. Then, we get to the third panel, and them mood changes dramatically! I believe it to be Bosch’s depiction of Hell, due to the many demonic creatures, and tortured human souls. Some figures are bound by chains, and others are actually used as instruments! I have always loved this painting, and would love to hear what you guys think of it in the comments’ section below.

Ridiculous Book Covers (Wednesdays)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy book covers. Now, let’s begin!

• The Goblin and a Lucky Adventure (Tales from the Forest of the Hooting Owl) by Juliet Boyd Release Date: August 2nd, 2018 30 Pages Genres: Short Story, Kids 

This is a recent book that’s about a goblin that goes on a journey. Unfortunately, the cover is absolute rubbish! It actually looks like somebody vomited the contents of a paint can onto the paper. I’m a big fan of abstract art, but this is so half-assed, it makes me angry. Put more effort into your covers, it’s not that hard!

 

• Gubble Bubble Kingdom by Denise McCabe and Illustrated by Da’an Yahya Release Date: February 21st, 2015 36 Pages Genre: Picture Book

I don’t really need to explain the synopsis of this do I? It apparently is a children’s picture book that was well received on Amazon. The cover is “interesting” to say the least, and could easily give people nightmares. The cover is like a giant LSD trip with an overly happy jester and two kids trapped in a bubble. The jester appears to be pouring a douche filled with water into a green field. I don’t like this cover because it edges way too close to the uncanny valley.

More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

• Glacialynx (The Lynx Pokemon) #082 Ice/Electric Type Possible Abilities: Volt Absorb (Absorbs electric attacks and converts them into HP) or Adaptability (STAB moves have a 2x bonus) Evolves from Caracold at Level 31 Ht: 3’03” Wt: 70.5 lbs Gender Ratio: 50% Male to 50% Female Appearance: A blue and yellow lynx with bright yellow eyes. Base Stats: HP: 60, Attack: 55, Defense: 50, Sp. Atk: 110, Sp. Def: 70, Speed: 101 Base Stat Total: 446 (Very high Special Attack and Speed) Weak to Fighting, Ground, Rock, and Fire.

Entry: This Pokemon can find others of its kind during blizzards by emitting lights caused by its Electric attacks.

 

• Pikotton (The Cotton Mouse Pokemon) #025 Electric/Fairy Type Appearance: An inbred mixture of Swirlix and Pikachu. Possible Abilities: Static (Paralyzes on physical contact) or Cute Charm (30% infatuation effect on contact) Doesn’t Evolve Ht: 1’04” Wt: 7.7 lbs Gender Ratio: 50% male to 50% female Base Stats: HP: 55, Attack: 40, Defense: 85, Sp. Atk: 90,  Sp. Def: 75, Speed: 75 Base Stat Total: 420 (Ok, I guess) Immune to Dragon and Weak to Poison and Ground.

Entry: Pikotton is rumored to have been created by Swirlix and Pikachu inbreeding for many generations.

More Crappy Book Covers (Wednesdays)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

• Living on Gummy Worms by Kirsten Diane Wright Genres: Christian Fiction Release Date: June 25th, 2014 672 Pages

I am not a fan of Christian Fiction, or religious books in general, so guess my surprise when I come across this! Supposedly the book is about how God can solve all of our problems. The cover is completely pathetic, and is just a vomit-green background with purple text.

 

• Pura Vida by Annette Montez Tolda Genre: Mystery Release Date: May 23rd, 2017) 286 Pages

I find this cover to be quite low budget, but I actually enjoy trashy things like this. The cover is nothing more than a picture of a nun with a gun against a white background. Apparently this book is highly reviewed, as it has a 4.9/5 on Amazon. The cover almost reminds of a cult film poster, and that is a good thing.