Bad Video Game Cover Art

Hello fellow gamers, and welcome to an old topic! I loved critiquing bad video game art in the past, and decided to give it another go. Now, let’s facepalm and cringe at some true garbage!

  •  Brawl Brothers for the SNES Genre: Beat em’ Up (1992) Plot: The sequel to Rushing Beat that has players beating up hordes of bad guys. Publisher: Jaleco 

I always have loved Beat em’ Ups, and find them to be mindless fun. This specific game was heavily praised by critics for its graphics and fluid gameplay. Unfortunately the cover is complete crap! We get this “ultra-cool” beefcake guy breaking out of a brick wall. His face is contorted like he’s constipated, and his nose  is bulbous and phallic. If the artists had taken more time on this piece, it could be pretty to look at, but as of now, it’s trash!

brawl.jpg

 

  • Art of Fighting for the Sega Mega Drive (1992) Creator: SNK Genre: Fighting Description  The first game of the Art of Fighting trilogy that pits players against each other, and mixes up the game with some desperation attacks. 

Ugh! This series of fighting games are very clunky, and many of the characters are extremely overpowered. However, it is also famous for starting the “super attacks” in many of the popular fighters of today. The artwork for this game is all over the place, with some parts being awesome, and others being disturbing. Most of the work looks like a cheesy 80’s action film with bell-bottom jeans, a bright orange karate gis. Then, we get to the faces, and all hell breaks loose! Robert Garcia’s face is pseudo-realistic which really blurs the line, and makes the viewer feel uncomfortable. Then, we get to Ryo, who has a giant leg, and appears to be kicking a goon right in the face. The goon is the best part of the piece, and his face is contorted into pure exaggerated pain.

art of fighting.png

Advertisements

The “Best” Video Game Weapons/Characters (April Fools Special)

Hey everybody! It’s time for a totally rad post that’s totally not a joke! I am going to list some of the “best” characters and weapons in video games. Now, let’s begin this awesomely radical list!

  • Dan Hibiki Type: “Martial Artist” First Appeared: Street Fighter Alpha Ht: 5’9” Wt: 163 lbs Birthplace: Hong Kong  Fighting Style: His made up “Saikyo” style. Notable Feats/Abilities: Defeating Sagat (It was given to him) Pink Gi (From washing his white gi with colors) “Legendary” Taunt (A taunt so powerful that people stare on dumbfounded at its stupidity) Gadoken (A miserably short range fireball) Hissho Buraiken (A totally ripped off Ryuuko Rambu from King of Fighters, plus he doesn’t move)  Haoh Gadoken (A surprisingly effective, but again, totally ripped off move from King of Fighters)

Dan is the son of the famous Martial Artist, Go Hibiki. Go was killed by Sagat, and Dan sought vengeance on the Muay Thai master. In a strange turn of events, Dan was the victor, though Sagat lost on purpose. Getting a huge confident boost from the victory, Dan founded a dojo, but forgot to write down the address. Dan is a huge joke character, but some extremely experienced players can master this pathetic fighter. 

evil dan

 

  • The Klobbe Type: Automatic Gun First Appeared: Goldeneye (But I’m discussing the Enter the Gungeon version) Max Ammo: 900 Rank: D Damage: 1.2 

The Klobbe is a horrifically bad gun in Enter the Gungeon. It has the worst damage in the entire game, and its entry even comments on its crappiness. The only good thing about the gun, is that it has some ridiculously awesome synergies with other items. 

hlobbe

 

  • Butter Bean Type: Active Item in The Binding of Isaac #294  Effect: Farts on enemies, and pushes them back. 

This is one of the most useless items in Isaac. It’s a complete waste of an active item slot, and doesn’t do anything to help out your run. It’s so laughably bad, that there was a new version of it made in a later expansion.

butter bean

More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • Vampire Among the Zombies: Nightwalkers by Howell Roland Jr Date Released: July, 9 2015 146 Pages Genre: Children’s Horror Quick Summary: A 17 year-old experiences the zombie apocalypse in Florida. 

This generic zombie apocalypse novel has one of the crappiest covers I’ve ever seen.  It looks like it was made in 10 minutes on Microsoft Paint! The top of the piece has pathetically done mouth with dollar store vampire fangs. Then, we get to the center, and see the most *insert town name here* I’ve ever seen.  The only good thing about this work, is the genuinely well made zombie near the bottom of the page. 

vampi

 

  • The Wizard From Earth by S.J. Ryan Genre: Science Fiction Release Date: October, 2 2014 491 Pages Short Summary: A teenager gets transported into an unknown world.

This book’s cover is one of the worst I’ve ever seen! It’s an outdoor piece with many bizarre things going on. The top of the work has a poorly drawn and peppermint colored balloon. Then we get to the bottom of the piece, and all hell breaks loose! We get probably the most horribly rendered people, and the art in total is complete trash.

woeeiopfhijpAFS.jpg

More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • The Lord of Shadows Redemption by James Terzian  Genre: Fantasy Release Date: June 26th, 2016 Quick Summary: The Master fights against an ancient and unspeakable evil. 143 Pages

This “work of art” seems like it was put together in 10 minutes! First of all, the title of the book is in a lazy white font. Second, the shadowy image is laughably tame, and doesn’t portray fear. The last thing that makes me face palm is the two random swords that appear to be floating in midair. Tell me what you think of this cover in the comments’ section below.

lord of sha

 

  • Freezer Burn Blues by Shannon Danford Genre: Humorous Fiction Pages: 358 Release Date: April 29th, 2011 Quick Summary: A humorous tale with many different wacky characters.

This book has a very fascinating synopsis, and I might want to read it some time. Unfortunately, the cover is quite the opposite. It looks like it was made with little to no effort. It depicts a poorly drawn woman in a yoga pose surrounded by a deteriorated background. Also, for some reason, there’s a cat “creature”in the leftmost corner. Tell me what you think of this cover in the comments’ section below.

freezer

Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • Shadows of Sleep by Aaron Gritsch Release Date: August 17th, 2018 Genre: Fiction 383 Pages Plot: This is a tale about fighting demons while in sleep paralysis 

The plot of this book actually sounds pretty interesting, however, the cover is anything but pretty! It looks like a half-assed drawing of a shadow person that looks  like it could be done by anyone.

shafd

 

  • Finding Our Way by Jayson James Release Date: December 11th, 2013 284 Pages Genre: LGBT Fiction Plot: The story of a gay couple and their daily lives.

The story of this book is very fascinating, and I will probably read it someday. Unfortunately, the cover doesn’t do it justice. It’s a pencil drawing of 2 boys, however one of them looks high as hell. I honestly would treat a book discussing difficult subject matter to have a more refined cover.

jayson

Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringe begin!

  • Carrot Cain by M. Demetrice Published: June 28th, 2015 62 Pages Genres: Horror/Mystery Short Synopsis: A Horror tale about a strange creature.

 This book’s title alone is one of the most pathetic I’ve ever seen. The title is in a vomit yellow color that drips down the page. There’s also some “spooky” yellow eyes, and for some really stupid reason, a large carrot.

carrot cain

 

  • Limo Bill the Undercover Assassin by Bill Ames Genre: Adult Fiction 231 Pages Published: January 15th, 2014 Synopsis: An erotic tale of a master assassin and his bevy of babes.

This is good old action-packed schlock. The titular limo is in full view with all of its slimy glory. We also get some semi-nude women surrounding it.

limo.jpg

Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let’s begin!

  • Death in the Australian Outback by Anthony E. Thorogood Release Date: December 5th, 2013 Genres: Humor, Mystery Plot: This is a series of crime novels with a large dash of humor.

This cover is one of the most pathetic that I’ve ever seen! It looks like it was done with little to no effort. The cover is of a poorly drawn man with a gun that’s larger than his face. He also has a very disgusted look on his face.

death in aussie

 

  • Adventures of Silicon Jones (Maven Fairy Godmother Book 6) by Charlotte Henley Babb Released on: November 20th, 2018 Genres: Science Fiction and Fantasy Pages: 76 Plot: This is a book about a genius hacker that explores the fourth dimension.

This cover is schlocky awesomeness at its finest. We have a cool-looking bearded dude riding a motorcycle with a blue dinosaur’s head on the rim. Unfortunately, the cover is also nightmarish with the horrific, yellow abomination in the left side of the painting.

silicon