More Crappy Video Game Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to take a look at some more cringy artwork. Now, let’s begin this suckfest!

  • Chuckie Egg 2 for the Amiga (1985) Genre: Adventure

Chuckie Egg 2 is a strange adventure game for the Amiga computer. You control Harry, who’s trying to assemble a giant chocolate egg. The cover is an entirely different beast! For one thing, it’s creepy as fuck! We see an egg-human hybrid with hyperrealistic eyes and an incredibly ugly face. The backwards cap also makes the egg look like a pretentious douchebag. We also can’t forget the pig vomit which is the weird spider hanging on the bamboo from above. I absolutely hate this cover, and it’s sure to induce nausea within minutes of viewing.

chuckie egg

 

  • NCAA March Madness 2003 for the Playstation 2 (2002) Genre: Sports 

March Madness was a series of basketball games that were made by EA Sports. This cover is truly a mustard stain of epic failure! The basketball player, Drew Gooden is incredibly flamboyant looking, and has a very stupid expression on his face. His head is also disproportionate to the rest of his body. Tell me what you think of this work in the comments’ section below.

ncaa.jpg

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Even More Crappy Video Game Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us take a look at some more cringy artwork. Now, let’s begin this crazy journey into some pure garbage!

  • Karnaaj Rally for the Game Boy Advance November 21, 2002 Genre: Action/Racing

Karnaaj Rally is a fun little racing game with an assortment of weapons. The game was very well received by reviewers, and IGN gave it an 8.8 out of 10. It’s also known for having one of the worst video game covers of all time. The cover depicts a purple hot rod and an incredibly ugly man with bright blue hair. How the hell does the man have anything to do with the game at all?! He takes up more than half of the piece, and has one of the stupidest expressions I’ve ever seen.  The cover has so much infamy, that even IGN commented on it. Tell me what you think of the work in the comments’ section below.  

karnaaj

 

  • Black Belt for the Sega Master System November 1986

Black Belt is a side-scrolling beat em’ up from the 80’s. It’s a lot like the game, Kung Fu, and just as action packed. Unfortunately, the cover fucks things up again! You’d think a martial arts game would have an actioned packed cover, but no! The cover is just plain lazy, and it looks like it was made in 30 minutes! All the cover has is a single foot and tiny comic book-like effect. It definitely doesn’t make you want to play the game, and seems just like a disappointment to me.

black belt  

Hall Of Shame: The Strangest Comic Book Characters (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow comic book fans! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more bizarre comic book characters. Now, grab your favorite Graphic Novel, and let’s begin!

  • Angar Real Name: David Alan Angar Status: Villain  First Appeared: Daredevil #100 (June 1973) Creator: Marvel Powers: Scream can induce memory loss and hallucinations

David was a radical social activist who volunteered for an experiment. The experiment bombarded David’s vocal chords, and caused him to have an incredibly powerful scream. He then became criminal for hire, and crossed paths with many heroes like Daredevil and Black Widow. He lost his powers in prison, and was reconstructed by the Fixer into the  sound entity, Scream. (As cool as his powers sound, it has been done to death already!)

angar (Plus, he looks really stupid!)

  • Dummy Real Name: Dean Boswell Status: Mutant (Deceased) First appeared: New X-Men #135 (February 1,2003) Powers: Gaseous form, phasing

Dummy was a student at the Xavier Institute. His powers manifested at the academy, and he became a sentient gas. He was given a special containment suit that gave him humanoid  appearance and functionality. He sadly met his end when an explosion destroyed his suit. (It doesn’t ease the pain that his outfit looked like a gimp suit!)

dodod] 

Even More Crappy Video Game Art (Every Other Wednesday)

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time to cringe at some more horrible video game art. Now, let’s get started!

  • Tommy Lasorda Baseball for the Sega Genesis 1988 Genre: Sports

This is a tricky Baseball game that was endorsed by the old manager of the Dodgers, Tommy Lasorda. I know that he’s trying to promote this game, but Jesus Christ, he’s horrifying! While Tommy in real life isn’t good looking, this cover is downright mocking! His face is fat and mushy, with disturbingly crossed eyes. It might be one of the earliest forms of nightmare fuel, and the artist should be ashamed of himself!

tommy lis

  • Panic Restaurant for the NES 1992 Genre: Action Platformer 

Panic Restaurant is a weird and wonderful platformer that stars a chef named Cookie. He fights against evil sentient food items and the evil chef, Ohdove. Once again, the video game cover fucks up everything! It depicts Cookie as a enraged chef with the face of a child molester. His head is disproportionate to the rest of his body, and frying pan is bigger than his noggin. There’s also a strange carrot in the background with blue eyeshadow and lipstick. Tell me what you think of this cover in the comments’ section below.

panic rest.jpg 

October Special! More Creepy Pokedex Entries

Hello fellow Pokemon trainers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at the dark side of this series. Now, prepare to be shocked!

  • Trevenant (The Elder Tree Pokemon) (Based off of the Kodama) Ghost and Grass Type Size: 4’11” 156.5 lbs First Appeared: Generation VI

Trevenant and its first form, Phantump have some of the most disturbing Pokedex entries of all time. It resembles a spider-like tree with a giant red eye and two pincer-like claws.

Omega Ruby Pokedex Entry: It can control trees at will. It will trap people who harm the forest so they can never leave. (O_O)

treve

 

Now for probably the most messed up entry ever!

Yamask (The Spirit Pokemon) (Based off of the Egyptian Ba holding a death mask)

Ghost Type Size: 1’08” 3.3 lbs First Appeared: Generation V

Yamask is a downright upsetting creature with a shadowy body.

 Pokemon Black Pokedex Entry: Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry. (“E” for everyone my ass!)

yamask     

Creepy Pokedex Entries (Every Wednesday for the Month of October)

Hello everyone, and welcome to another look at a well-loved topic! As said before, I am a huge fan of the Pokemon franchise. I adore the gigantic amount of characters and their very unique designs. One of the most important tools in a Pokemon Trainer’s arsenal is the Pokedex, a compendium of all the various creatures you will meet on your journey. Despite the “E” rating, Japan has managed to put some pretty disturbing information into the dex. It becomes less of a children-friendly game, and more of a horror story. So, to celebrate the month of Halloween, I will be adding the most bizarre and messed up entries that I can find. Now, let’s dive into the amazing world of Pokemon!

  •    Bruxish  The Gnash Teeth Pokemon (Based off of a filefish or reef triggerfish) 

Size: 2″11 Weight: 41.9lbs

Bruxish is a water/psychic fish Pokemon from Generation VII. It’s quite colorful, and has a mouth that’s full of sharp teeth. They can be caught from fishing spots in the Secluded Shore.

Pokedex entry from Pokemon Moon: It stuns its prey with psychokinesis and grinds them to mush with its strong teeth. Even Shelder’s shell is no match for it. (Yes brutal death, totally a kid’s game!)

brux.jpg

 

  • Dusclops The Beckon Pokemon (Based off of a Hitotsume-kozo)

Size: 5’03” Weight: 67.5 lbs

Dusclops is a pure ghost type Pokemon from Generation III. It’s a fairly large, cyclopean ghost with a grey body that resembles bandages on a mummy. It can be found be leveling up Duskull to level 37.

Pokedex entry from Omega Ruby: Dusclops’s body is completely hollow—–there is nothing at all inside. It is said that its body is like a black hole. This Pokemon will absorb anything into its body, but nothing will ever come back out. (O_O)

dusclos 

The Crappiest Video Game Cover Art (Every Other Wednesday)

“Art” found on various websites

Hello fellow gamers! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means!  Yes, it’s time to cringe, as we look at some horrible cover art. Now, let the crapfest begin!

  • Dudes With Attitude for the NES (1990) 

Dudes With Attitude was a piss poor action/adventure game for the NES. The object of the game is to use the “dudes” to collect colored gems and avoid the evil Gumsplats. Unfortunately the game had horrible controls and graphics. The cover doesn’t do anything to numb the pain, and is in fact, scary as hell! The art depicts 3 sentient balls surrounding a treasure chest. The leftmost figure is a blue female with black shades and a pucker mouth. The rightmost image is a yellow male with spiky hair, and a “shit eating” grin. The middlemost image is the fugliest of them all, and depicts a red male ball with an eyepatch, mustache, and demonic grin. This is completely unsettling, and causes the viewer to stay away from this abomination. (Come on, artists! You can do bettter than this!)

dudes with 

 

  • Final Zone II for the Turbo Grafx 16 (1990)

Final Zone II is a wonderfully fun shooter that’s quite similar to Ikari Warriors. If you have watched the Happy Console Gamer, there are chances that you have heard of this game. Two covers were made, one for Japan, and one for North America. The Japanese one is very cool, and portrays the main characters in an Anime style. The North American cover, other the other hand, is a giant pile of vomit! The artist must have been hitting the crack pipe pretty hard when he birthed this monstrosity! The character’s proportions are completely askew, and the faces look like grotesque bobble heads. The robot suits are morbidly obese, and the weapons look like construction equipment! Tell me what you think of this shitshow in the comments’ section below.

final zone 2