Even More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • A Gift Garden by: Nathan & Arthur Culbert Illustrated by: N. Jane Quackenbush Genre: Kid’s Fiction Pages: 168 Release date: November 28th, 2018 Quick Summary: Kids try to help the less fortunate people get food.

The book seems like a very whimsical tale of helping people out. Unfortunately, the cover is the stuff of nightmares! The illustrator did a very crappy job of portraying children. They look like melting candle wax, and the scenery could be a manifestation of an LSD trip. Absolutely pathetic!

a gift

 

  • Rebellious by Alec Mustafayev Release Date: September 18th, 2018 Genre: Unknown Short Summary: A tale of a rebellious kid and his day to day life. 228 Pages

This cover looks like something straight out of the Amiga CDI! The human portrayed seems like he was designed in Microsoft Paint. In conclusion a horrifically bad art disaster.

rebell

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More Crazy Pokemon Clover Pokedex Entries (Every Other Monday)

NSFW Content Ahead!

Hello fellow Pokemon Trainers! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crazy entries. Now, let’s begin!

  •  Socckat (The Gaucho Pokemon) #288 Normal/Fighting Type  Ht: 3’03” Wt: 70.5 lbs Possible Abilities: Quick Feet (Increases speed if inflicted with a status ailment) or Scrappy (Normal and Fighting type moves can hit Ghost Types) Gender Ratio: 50/50 Appearance: A literal soccer cat. Base Stats: HP: 80, Attack: 105, Defense: 75, Sp. Attack: 55, Sp. Def: 65, Speed: 115 Base Stat Total: 495 (Pretty High Attack) Immune to Ghost and Weak to Fighting, Flying, Psychic, and Fairy. Doesn’t Evolve 

Entry: It is said to wear the number 17 in honor of the great Clovis Fernandes who lost 1-7 in the World Cup.

socckat

 

  • Apartmant (The Apartment Pokemon) #316 Bug/Rock Type Possible Abilities: Swarm (Increases Bug Type moves when your health is 50% or less) or Shell Armor (Nullifies critical hits) Appearance: An ant with an apartment on its back. Ht: 1’00” Wt: 9.9 lbs Gender Ratio: 50/50 Evolves from Housant at Level 29 Base Stats: HP: 90, Attack: 110, Defense: 120, Sp. Attack: 50, Sp. Def: 60, Speed: 70 Base Total: 500 (Very good Attack and Defense stats) Weak to Rock, Steel, and Water.

Entry: After evolving, it becomes at least three times bigger. Now its residents are much more comfortable.

apartmant

Fighting Game Tropes

Hello fellow fighting game enthusiasts! It’s time for us to take a look at some common tropes within our favorite fighters. Now, let’s battle!

  • SNK Boss: Every fighting game fan has dealt with this trope in some way or another. It deals with the bosses in fighting games that aren’t just difficult to beat, but seem to be programmed to be as cheap as possible. Versions of this include; extremely overpowered offense, infinite super meter, neigh invulnerability, or extreme projectile spamming. The final bosses in the King of Fighters franchise regularly are considered as this. In KOF ’99, the final boss Krizalid, has a disgustingly powerful combo that can take away 90% of your health bar! In Street Fighter 3rd Strike, we have the thong-wearing god of annoyance, Gill. Gill can literally recover his HP to full, and dishes out massive damage with his projectiles. Lastly, we have Yami (The final boss in Okami) as the end boss of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. He has 3 different forms, each of which is more annoying then the last. His first form has him stealing your power meter and firing homing missiles. His second form has amazing range, and his third form is pure hell. His supers are the most damaging, and he spams his attacks like crazy.

krizalid(Krizalid)

 

  • Lethal Joke Character: Another extremely common trope in fighting games. It deals with the presumably pathetic characters in games that have hidden potential. Dan Hibiki of the Street Fighter franchise fits this mold to a T. His projectile is absolutely useless, and he doesn’t have a lot of range. Then, as the games progressed, he became a lot more useable, with highly experienced players using him for mind games. The Super Smash Bros series has the pink balloon Pokemon, Jigglypuff. Her moves are very weak, and she can get KO’ed very easily. There’s one thing however, that makes her dangerously unpredictable. Her move, “rest”, can be one of the most powerful moves in the series, if you manage to connect with it. Lastly, there’s Shingo Yabuki from King of Fighters’ 97. His move set is weaker versions of Kyo’s techniques. Then, you find out that he has the highest chance of scoring a critical hit in the game! This means that his attacks tend to hurt a lot more, albeit, randomly.

jiggly

 

  • (Sorry if this sounds perverted) Jiggle Physics: A rather scandalous, but highly used fighting game trope. This occurs with a body bounces in place or reacts to physical stimuli. This often applies to the breasts of female fighters, making them highly popular among male gamers. King of Fighters has one of the original versions of this with Mai Shiranui’s “orbs”. Mai is a gorgeous kunoichi with a rather large breasts. They’re often seen bouncing in her idle stance. She was modeled after Fumie Hosokawa, the Japanese porn star with the largest breasts. Next, we have the unsettling Rufus from Street Fighter IV. He’s extremely fat, and his body jiggles in a very disturbing manner. Lastly, we have Xianghua from the Soul Caliber series. The physics not only appear on her breasts, but her butt as well!

mai.jpg(The Lovely Mai)

My Favorite Guns In Enter The Gungeon Part 1

Hello fellow Gungeoneers! It’s time for a very special post. Enter The Gungeon is a very fun, yet extremely difficult bullet hell roguelike. The game involves tons of puns and many guns. Some of them range from normal firearms, like sniper rifles, and elephant guns, to the absolutely insane, like a literal pea shooter. The following will be some of my favorite guns from the game.

  • Yari Launcher Flavor Text: “Hell. Yes.” Class: S Type: Automatic Max Ammo: 140 Damage: 10 (Impact)+ 15 (Explosion) Ammo Type: Homing Rockets Appearance: A futuristic, red gun with a large barrel.

This gun packs some serious heat, and is an absolute boss killer. It fires a continuous stream of homing rockets at the near target, and the damage scales very quickly. Being an S-Class gun, it’s not easy to come by, but if you do, you’ll kick some major ass!

yari launch

  • Megahand Flavor Text: “-P-” Class: B Type: Charged Max Ammo: 200 Damage: 6 (Uncharged) 45 (Charged) Ammo Type: Solar Bullets Appearance: The motherfucking Megabuster!

A love letter to my favorite video game character of all time. This Megabuster is one of the more powerful guns in the game. Its charged shot alone can kill most early enemies in a single hit. It also synergizes with multiple items and guns, making it a very versatile weapon.

megahand

  • Compressed Air Tank Flavor Text: “You Know My Work” Class: A Type: Charged Max Ammo: 50 Damage: 50 Ammo Type: Sharks ( Yes, really) Appearance: A literal compressed air tank.

This is one absolutely crazy gun! It shoots homing sharks that play the jaws theme. The sharks search for a target, and then they jump up, killing regular enemies in one hit! It’s stupidly awesome, and a definite pick up during any run.

compressed air tank

More Crappy Book Covers (Every Other Tuesday)

Hello fellow book lovers! It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means! Yes, it’s time for us to take a look at some more crappy covers. Now, let the cringefest begin!

  • From The Dust (Unalive Book 2) by Sid Ghost Released: December 3rd, 2013 Genres: Gothic Fiction and Horror 152 Pages Quick Summary: A book about the battle between 2 vampires.

This is one of the most generic covers I’ve ever seen. It has a black background with boring white text. There’s also a very “scary” vampire in the center. The cover looks like it was done in 20 minutes, and the book’s story would need to be exceptional to have anyone purchase it.

unalive

 

  • The Waters of Chaos Book 3 by Marc Severson Released: July 2nd, 2016 Pages: 252 Genres: Western, Horror, and Fiction Short Summary: People are getting infected by a mysterious sickness, and it’s up to the Chaos Police Department to stop it.

I ironically really enjoy this cover. The wavy text really reminds me of old-school word art, and gives me some nostalgia. The surrounding background has these really trippy rocks and minerals, that cause the book to glow. I actually would want to read this one, and would love to hear what you think of it in the comments’ section below. 

waters

More Awesome TV Tropes

Hello fellow Media Lovers! It’s time for some more tropes! I hope you guys will enjoy it. Now, let’s begin!

  • The Jinx: A darkly comedic trope that deals with severely unlucky characters. They are perfectly normal, but can inflict brutal unluckiness on others. Some examples include: Archie of Archie Comics (He tends to get himself and others around him into trouble), Douglas Fackler of the Police Academy movies (Upon throwing an apple core, he unknowingly causes a riot), and  this is Black Cat of Spider-Man fames main gimmick.

doug

 

  • Airborne Mook: This trope deals with any character in any form of media that flies, and is usually a pain to deal with. Some examples of this include: Pipis from the classic Megaman series (These mechanical birds drop large eggs on the Blue Bomber that split into many annoying miniature versions), The Lakitu  from Super Mario Bros (These flying freaks stay out of range and drop spinys on the Mario Bros) lastly, we have the Explosive Flies from The Binding of Isaac (These bastards fly around rooms and like to get up in your business. Take care of them from a distance, or face a full heart’s worth of damage) 

pipi

The “Best” Video Game Weapons/Characters (April Fools Special)

Hey everybody! It’s time for a totally rad post that’s totally not a joke! I am going to list some of the “best” characters and weapons in video games. Now, let’s begin this awesomely radical list!

  • Dan Hibiki Type: “Martial Artist” First Appeared: Street Fighter Alpha Ht: 5’9” Wt: 163 lbs Birthplace: Hong Kong  Fighting Style: His made up “Saikyo” style. Notable Feats/Abilities: Defeating Sagat (It was given to him) Pink Gi (From washing his white gi with colors) “Legendary” Taunt (A taunt so powerful that people stare on dumbfounded at its stupidity) Gadoken (A miserably short range fireball) Hissho Buraiken (A totally ripped off Ryuuko Rambu from King of Fighters, plus he doesn’t move)  Haoh Gadoken (A surprisingly effective, but again, totally ripped off move from King of Fighters)

Dan is the son of the famous Martial Artist, Go Hibiki. Go was killed by Sagat, and Dan sought vengeance on the Muay Thai master. In a strange turn of events, Dan was the victor, though Sagat lost on purpose. Getting a huge confident boost from the victory, Dan founded a dojo, but forgot to write down the address. Dan is a huge joke character, but some extremely experienced players can master this pathetic fighter. 

evil dan

 

  • The Klobbe Type: Automatic Gun First Appeared: Goldeneye (But I’m discussing the Enter the Gungeon version) Max Ammo: 900 Rank: D Damage: 1.2 

The Klobbe is a horrifically bad gun in Enter the Gungeon. It has the worst damage in the entire game, and its entry even comments on its crappiness. The only good thing about the gun, is that it has some ridiculously awesome synergies with other items. 

hlobbe

 

  • Butter Bean Type: Active Item in The Binding of Isaac #294  Effect: Farts on enemies, and pushes them back. 

This is one of the most useless items in Isaac. It’s a complete waste of an active item slot, and doesn’t do anything to help out your run. It’s so laughably bad, that there was a new version of it made in a later expansion.

butter bean